


All My Somedays are Yours

by salanderjade (whowhatsitwhich)



Category: Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-01
Updated: 2015-05-31
Packaged: 2018-01-14 03:57:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 29,628
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1251877
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whowhatsitwhich/pseuds/salanderjade
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They met by chance-a woman trying to figure out the rest of her life and a man who had forgotten how to live. Five days doesn't seem like enough time to change everything you know about yourself...but love doesn't always make sense. A Hunger Games AU loosely inspired by "An Affair to Remember"</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A Chance Meeting

Chapter 1: A Chance Meeting

Her horn gave one long blast as the Rosamund left port and headed ponderously for open water. On the main deck, passengers milled about, some waving to loved ones on the quay while others seemed intent on finding their quarters. Crew members darted back and forth through the throng as they rushed to finish up a few remaining tasks. The big ship rounded the last spit of land, skirting a pretty lighthouse that guarded the entrance of the harbor as it had for the past hundred years. Cameras were raised and delighted gasps filled the air as they bid arrivederci to Genoa.

Katniss Everdeen leaned against the railing and turned her face into the freshening wind. It caressed her cheeks, toying with a few loose tendrils of hair that escaped from her otherwise tidy braid. She watched until nothing was left but a blue expanse of water stretching to the horizon. That was it then. Her vacation was over and it was back to life and her responsibilities. Gale had sent her a text earlier to make sure that the ship met with her approval. She assured him everything was perfect. Of course it was. Gale Hawthorne would accept nothing less. She had taken one look at the opulent cabin adorned with sprays of white roses and bolted. She hated the pretentious flower with a passion, but Gale insisted on the best so she bit her tongue. He would give her the moon if she asked for it.

She straightened and walked toward the corridor that take her back to her cabin. A brief nap before dinner sounded ideal. She had been up since the crack of dawn and the long day was beginning to catch up with her. As she walked, her eyes were drawn to a large group clustered around the bar area. They flocked about one of the low tables, speaking in excited whispers and gesturing furiously at the unseen occupant. Katniss groaned to herself. From the furor, she surmised that there was a celebrity of sorts on board. She wearily rubbed her eyes and skirted the edge of the crowd in search of a shorter path to her room. The more deck space between her and the one responsible for the commotion, the better she liked it.

"Miss Everdeen," her name cut through the noise like a knife, pulling her head around. A young man clad in the Rosamund's blue and gold uniform strolled toward her waving a slip of paper in his outstretched hand. "Miss Everdeen, please wait a moment." She gave him a polite smile and waited until he stood before her before raising an inquiring brow. "I'm very sorry to bother you, Miss, but the Captain wishes you to join him for dinner tonight at his table. I have your new seating assignment and am instructed to tell you that if you need anything at all, Captain Abernathy will be more than happy to assist you." He paused for breath and sheepishly handed her the card. "Shall I let the Captain know that you'll be dining with him this evening?"

Katniss sighed inwardly but kept her expression carefully blank as she replied, "I'd love to. Please give Captain Abernathy my thanks." She slid the card into her skirt pocket and nodded before turning away. She took a few steps before a sudden thought made her spin to face the startled crew member once more. "Forgive me, I'm sorry but I didn't catch your name." She looked at him expectantly.

"Darius," he said eagerly. "My name is Darius, miss. Did you need something else?"

"I wondered if we have anyone of note traveling with us. I couldn't help but notice the bar as I was leaving. Is it anyone I know?" She questioned lightly.

Darius gave an enthusiastic nod, "I'm sure you do. He's been in the papers recently. You must have seen him." He gestured toward the teeming horde that, if anything, had grown larger in the last few minutes. "That's him. Peeta Mellark is his name. He's engaged to Madge Undersee, the Mayor's daughter. According to the papers, they are to be married soon after we dock in New York."

Katniss bit her lip as she considered the young man who was clearly enthralled by his brush with the high and mighty. She had been like him a long time ago. Now, she just wanted peace and quiet. It looked as if the only way she was going to get her wish was to avoid any dealings with Peeta Mellark and his admirers. "Thank you, Darius," she said softly. "I appreciate your help."

He flushed at the compliment and bobbed his head. "Of course, Miss Everdeen. Let me know if I can do anything else."

"I will," she muttered, spinning on her heel and walking swiftly to her cabin.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXXOOXOX OXO

The orange dress was an extravagance that, if left to her own devices, Katniss would never have chosen. Not where there were other, more practical alternatives. Gale refused to listen to reason, insisting that only the best would do. She'd gritted her teeth at his blatant disregard of her opinions and wants, finally giving in to the inevitable. The dress was carefully tucked into a garment bag and sent to her apartment along with a pair of strappy heels that made her feel as if she were tottering about on stilts. She'd hung the dress in the closet and promptly forgotten about it.

She stood in front of the mirror, scowling as she smoothed the silky fabric over her hip. It flowed over her like water, rippling and swaying with every movement. The thin vee of the neckline showed just a hint of what lay below. A wide band of material cinched her waist, while the loose pleats of the skirt swirled gracefully to just below the knee. A brisk walk or a stiff breeze would part the fabric enough to give away the secret. Individual ribbons of fabric made up the bulk of the dress. A cunningly placed fold or stich gave it form and substance. It was a garment made for promises, for teasing, for seduction. It was completely wasted on Katniss, who rarely gave a thought to such matters. Love was security-a roof over her head and food on the table. It was not a bunch of knotted scarfs masquerading as a dress, designed solely to fire the blood and whet the appetite for more.

A knock on the door pulled her out of her preoccupied examination. She hurriedly pushed a tendril of hair behind her ear and secured it with a bejeweled pin before going to answer. Darius, the crew member from earlier, gave her a practiced smile as she stepped into view. "I've come to escort you to dinner if you're ready, Miss Everdeen." She gave him a tepid smile and a nod by way of reply. He waited until she closed the door before extending his arm. She snorted quietly under her breath, but rested her hand lightly on his wrist as they proceeded to the dining hall.

The room was lovely with its mint and cream paint, dark satiny wood and polished lamps. They made limpid pools that sprawled over the expanse, leaving behind intimate corners and shadowed alcoves. The Captain's Table was a mahogany trestle, masculine and imposing with its linen, chunky crystal and hand painted china. Darius led her to a chair midway down the left side and, after seeing her comfortably settled, went to get the Stoli she reluctantly ordered.

She heaved a sigh of relief once he had gone before occupying herself with the menu card placed neatly in the silver holder behind her name. She didn't notice the other diners that filled up the spaces around her, didn't spare a glance at the glass Darius placed decorously by her elbow. It was only when an arm nudged her that Katniss looked up to meet a pair of sky blue eyes watching her intently. White teeth flashed as a crooked smile broke across the hard planes of his face. Tousled blond curls fell in studied disarray over his forehead and brushed the crisp white collar of his shirt. She felt her pulse stutter at the lethal combination of that devil-may-care smile and those eyes. He dropped his glance to the place card sitting before her, brow quirking up as he read her name. She suppressed the urge to roll her eyes, used to the curiosity that her name evoked. She was somewhat dumbfounded as he leaned over her and plucked the card from the tray.

"You must tell me the story of how you came to be named after an odd little water plant," he remarked in a honeyed drawl. "Not that it isn't lovely, or even exotic. It's not something that one would run across every day." She avoided his interested look by picking up the menu card and giving it her undivided attention. Blood raced through her veins, setting her cheeks aflame as a velvety chuckle escaped him. "You don't have to tell me now, Katniss Everdeen. We have nowhere to be and nothing but time. I'll devote hours to it if that's what you require. An interesting story will be well worth the wait."

She forgot herself enough to turn toward him, her jaw sagging in disbelief at his conceit. He met her look with bland interest, spinning her place card lazily between his fingers. "I have plans that will keep me busy for most of the voyage, Mr. Mellark. I'm sorry but you'll have to find something else to keep you entertained during the crossing." She didn't know where the urge came from but she acted on it. She nimbly plucked the white pasteboard out of his hand and deftly slid it back into place. "My apologies if that sounded rude. It wasn't my intent." Hoping that he would be mannerly enough to take the hint, she resumed her study of the menu. An eddy of warm breath stirring the short curls by her ear was her only warning. She started, and then faced him with wide, angry eyes. Before she could get out a word, he stopped her cold with another of those pulse pounding smiles.

"What was your intent?" He questioned lightly. "Surely, you don't plan to leave me to my own devices. I had resigned myself to mind numbing boredom but then I saw you and realized that here was my salvation. You aren't so heartless that you would leave me here pining for the pleasure of your company. Are you, Miss Everdeen?"

Her shock couldn't be concealed, not after that statement. The man deserved to be brought down a peg or two. It would serve him right, the arrogant bastard. She leaned back pointedly, putting some space between them. "I'm sure that line usually works for you," she commiserated. "It gives the impression of being well used. You might want to take the time to come up with some new material. I'm sure your soon-to-be wife will appreciate your efforts. Now excuse me but I believe that I'd rather dine in my room this evening." She pushed her chair back from the table and climbed hastily to her feet. She left the table without a backward glance, stopping long enough to whisper to the hostess before making her way to the cabin passage.

Peeta watched her hasty exit, turning away only when she was safely out-of-sight. He avoided the curious stares from the other diners as he, too, stood and made his excuses to the staff before taking his leave. A murmured conversation and a folded bill pressed into the palm of a helpful steward assured him that his request would be carried out immediately. Peeta wandered into the star strewn night and leaned against the rail as he watched the waves rippling off the bow.

He pulled the card out of his pocket and traced the loops and whirls of her name. Katniss Everdeen. She intrigued him. Such fire and spirit! She burned like a flame in that delectable slip of a dress. The sunset hue was initially what caught his eye. It was his favorite color after all. The way she tried to fade into the background despite her eye-catching apparel made him curious. How could such a lovely woman seem so alone is a crowded room? His playful teasing had backfired, resulting in her leaving sooner than he'd expected. He absently noted the beauty of the late summer evening, the sky spangled with stars right down to the horizon. His eyes found and traced the Archer with his bow drawn to cheek and ready to loose. Sagittarius…a strong and cunning warrior.

He could feel a spark ignite and whirl madly through his veins. For the first time in ages, he felt alive in a way that had been missing for longer than he cared to know. He felt renewed. Here was a worthy challenge, one that would not easily be swayed by his usual methods. He let a triumphant smile edge up the corners of his mouth at the thought of her reaction when she received his gift. He almost wished that he would be there to see it. He touched his fingers lightly to his lips and blew the celestial Hunter a kiss. "Let the Games begin," Peeta murmured. Slipping out of his coat, he tossed it over his shoulder and thrust his hands into his pockets as he picked his way aimlessly back to his cabin.

Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo xoxo

The knock on the door woke her up. Groggy and disoriented, she stumbled out of bed and flung open the cabin door before her eyes were opened fully. Darius gave her a knowing grin and thrust a long white box tied with an orange bow the same shade as her dress into her hands. He gave her a respectful nod and left her standing open-mouthed and wide-eyed.

She toed the door shut and then crossed the room to set the box down carefully on the desk. Sliding the ribbon down and laying it aside, she opened the lid and felt her heart do a slow turn in her chest. Katniss blossoms, dozens of them, filled the entire space. In the center was one perfect rose, its velvety petals a vibrant orange-red. The white envelope tucked into the corner beckoned her. Almost hesitantly, she pulled it free and pried the flap open. The single slip of paper bore four words and a number. My apologies, Katniss Everdeen. 405. It took her a minute to realize that he'd given her his cabin number.

Sputtering furiously under her breath, she tore the card into tiny pieces and stuffed them back in the envelope. Still not satisfied, she turned her fury on the blossoms which were soon reduced to petals and leaves. Arrogant bastard. He could keep his damned apologies and his flowers. She didn't need or want them. Picking up the phone, she keyed the steward and requested a package be sent to cabin 405. Yes, it was ready now. She put the envelope back in the box and smiled smugly to herself. Maybe now he would get the point and would leave her alone. She needed time to think, to plan. Gale had asked her a question…one she'd known was coming for a long time. She'd asked for time to consider and he'd given in to her wishes despite his disappointment that she hadn't accepted right away. She didn't need the complication that Peeta Mellark represented, tempting though it was. She didn't need it and she didn't want it.

She wished it didn't sound like she was trying to convince herself.

End part 1…


	2. Heaven on Earth (il cielo sulla terra)

Chapter 2: Heaven on Earth (il cielo sulla terra)

She left the cabin with a sense of foreboding that wasn't helped by the overcast sky above. Gray clouds hung low on the horizon, a choppy mishmash of silver and slate. She tugged her light jacket closer, tucking her hands into her sides to give them a semblance of warmth. Katniss let her feet choose her path as her mind wandered aimlessly from thought to thought. Gale waiting patiently in New York for her return, Prim shaking her head when Katniss called to say that she would be away for a few weeks and not to worry, Peeta Mellark…all big blue eyes and charming smile. A scowl settled on her features at the last one. Peeta Mellark. She mumbled a rude word under her breath, failing to notice startled looks from the few passengers in hearing distance. How dare he think that he could just smile and crook a finger and she'd come running. She huffed in annoyance, feeling a guilty flush of pleasure at what his expression must have looked like when the porter delivered the box of flowers to his cabin.

She's been nothing if not thorough. No bloom made it through unscathed. The fiery rose didn't go without a fight. Her fingers bore the wounds proudly. Her reply to his unsubtle apology was to make confetti. She shredded the bits of paper until she could no longer hold them unaided. Surely that would make her position clear. She had no intention of furthering their acquaintance beyond the words they'd already exchanged.

With her decision settled firmly in her mind, Katniss felt lighter and more at peace. In four days, they would dock in New York and this would be a distant memory. She glanced around to get her bearings and took the next turn as a shortcut to the dining room. She owed the Captain an apology for her rudeness the night before. It was unpardonable that she'd run and hid in her room like a little girl. Hopefully, the man was of the understanding sort. If not, the rest of the voyage would be strained.

She heard him before she saw him. That voice cut through her like a knife, leaving an odd combination of reticence and anticipation in its wake. She stopped short as she rounded the corner and saw him knelt at the foot of the main stair case, speaking softly to a sobbing little girl. The girl's face was grubby with tears and her eyes swollen and red. She let out an occasional whimper, rubbing at her cheeks with a pudgy fist. Katniss's heart went out to her. The poor little thing looked as if she'd lost her best friend. Edging closer, she couldn't help but listen to this unexpected side of the perplexing man who seemed hell-bent on taking over her every thought.

"Hush, sweetheart," Peeta coaxed. "I'm sure it can't be as bad as all that. Tell me what upset you so badly. I'm sure we can fix it. Most things can be fixed, you know; if you think about it long enough." Her sniffles subsided to hiccupping breaths as the girl looked hopefully at her new friend. He pulled a snowy handkerchief from his pocket and sopped up the remaining wetness. "That's my girl."

The small chuckle that escaped her was adorable. He grinned to hear it and playfully tapped her nose with his finger. "I lost my Buttercup," she confided. "I looked everywhere but I can't find her. Mamma will be so mad. I just got her before we got on the ship." Two fat tears rolled down her already streaked cheeks. "Can you help me find her?"

Peeta's face crumpled sympathetically as he daubed the new tears away gently. "Here now, love. None of that. I'm sure that Buttercup will turn up and I'd be happy to help you search. As the matter of fact, my friend Katniss will help too. She's very good at finding lost things, you know. She helped me find something that I'd lost just yesterday." Blue eyes pinned her in place as he glanced over his shoulder and gave her a welcoming grin. "There she is now. What do you say? We have a lady in distress and a missing best friend. Can you help us?"

Katniss couldn't help but return the smile, her heart jumping furiously in her chest. Who was this man? She couldn't reconcile this version with the charming, mostly irritating one that she'd met at dinner last night. Seeing that another set of blue eyes was locked on her pleadingly, Katniss forced herself to focus and smiled broadly. "Of course I'll help. We can't have a best friend all alone on a big boat like this. What does Buttercup look like?"

The little girl jumped up and down in excitement, tears forgotten now that reinforcements were at hand. "She's my kitty," she said excitedly. "She's a stuffed kitty but she really is my best friend. She's orange and has yellow eyes and a pink and yellow ribbon. There's a white spot on her nose."

Katniss's eyes widened at the sudden onslaught. She met Peeta's amused gaze, suppressing the snort at he added a wink at the last second. No, he hadn't completely changed completely. Turning her attention back to their animated audience, Katniss knelt until she was at eye level with the child before formally offering her hand. "I'm Katniss and this is Peeta. It's very nice to meet you. What do they call you at home, sweetie? Buttercup might not come with us if she thinks that we're strangers. You should never go anywhere with someone you don't know."

The girl's expression abruptly shifted to wary mortification. "My nonna told me that. I'm not supposed to go off by myself or talk to people who I don't know unless nonna or mamma says it's okay." She peered at Katniss in entreaty. "It is okay, isn't it, Miss Katniss? You're not a bad person, are you? Mamma and Nonna will be mad at me."

Katniss couldn't help but laugh at the girl's predicament. She patted the girl's shoulder and answered carefully, "No, I'm not a bad person and neither is Peeta. Your mamma and nonna are right, though. You shouldn't talk to strangers even if you are upset. Once you tell me your name, we'll be friends and I'll explain what happened to your mother so that she won't be upset with you. But for now, can you tell me your name? I like to know what to call my new friends."

The girl beamed, clearly excited at the prospect of having an adult friend. She rocked back and forth on the balls of her feet, dark braids swinging like a pendulum. "I'm Ponsietta but mamma calls me Posy. Does this mean that we aren't strangers now? Can we go look for Buttercup now? Can we?"

Katniss laughed and was somewhat startled when Peeta echoed her. It was he that answered, "Yes, Posy, we can look for Buttercup now. Where is the last place that you saw her?"

Posy danced ahead of them, calling back over her shoulder. "I saw her this morning when mamma and I had our breakfast. We went back to our cabin to get ready for the stop today. That's when I noticed that Buttercup was gone. We went back to the table but she wasn't there and nobody had seen her."

Peeta fingered his chin thoughtfully as he watched the girl scamper ahead. "If they checked the dining room already, it's pointless to go back there. We should go to the purser's office. If anybody did pick it up, they would have taken it there."

Katniss shrugged, calling to the girl to wait on them as she raced ahead. "That's as good a plan as any. We should find her mamma while we're at it. I'm sure that she's probably been missed by now."

"We have to catch her first," Peeta gestured to the flying dark braids disappearing into the adjacent passageway. They quickened their pace and rounded the corner just in time to see Posy launch herself at a well-dressed woman who bore a startling resemblance to the girl. Posy held her mamma's hands, chattering gaily in a torrent of lyrical Italian. Katniss was only able to catch a few words but Peeta seemed to be following the conversation with ease. He laughed delightedly and held out his hand. "Mi chiamo Peeta Mellark. Sono lieto di fare la vostra conoscenzai."

The woman smiled broadly, "It's very nice to meet you, Peeta. My name is Hazelle." She laughed softly as his cheeks turned a fiery red. "Posy tells me that you and your lovely companion are helping her to find her cat. She's usually very good about keeping her close. I'm sorry that she troubled you."

Peeta waved her protestations aside. "It's no trouble. She's lovely. We had decided to check the purser's office. It seemed like the most likely spot to find Buttercup. Shall we walk down now? I'm rather anxious to make Buttercup's acquaintance."

The party made their way amiably to the main deck with Posy dominating much of the conversation. Peeta left them in the middle of an epic tale of her first ballet recital and took the chief purser aside to explain what he was looking for. The man grinned and nodded before disappearing into his office, returning in a few moments with a fuzzy yellow cat clutched in his hands. Peeta thanked him before taking the animal in hand and making his way back to the women. Posy's happy shriek could be heard halfway across the deck. The furry cat was covered in kisses before the girl attached herself to Peeta's leg and looked up at him adoringly.

"Thank you ever so much, Mr. Peeta," she trilled. She tugged him down until he knelt and threw her arms about his neck. Katniss and her mother exchanged an amused look before Hazelle thanked him too and gathered Posy up. "I gotta go with mamma now. We're going to go out when the ship docks. Bye, Katniss. Bye, Peeta."

They watched as the girl skip merrily along beside her mother. Katniss gave Peeta a sideways glance but he missed it, still watching the girl with a soft smile pulling up the corners of his mouth. He confused her…this perplexing, enigmatic man who said outrageous things and yet stopped to help a distraught little girl. She was still watching him when he abruptly turned toward her, brow arched questioningly. She gave an uncomfortable humph before dropping her eyes to the deck.

"Well, I think I'm going to head down to breakfast. Hopefully, they're still serving. Please excuse me."

She managed a few steps before he spoke up. "It's not going to work, Katniss. You can't avoid me forever. The ship isn't that large. You'll have to talk to me eventually."

Turning back to meet his determined look, Katniss blew out a breath. "What do you want me to say, Mr. Mellark? What could we possibly have to say that hasn't already been said?"

The change in his expression was subtle but dramatic—hooded eyes, the smile from earlier edging ever-so-slightly higher, the wicked spark that danced in the look that slid over her body like a caress. Her breath caught. "How about thank you? I haven't said that to you yet. It bears saying because I owe you a debt of gratitude. You solved a problem for me that had troubled me since our first meeting."

Katniss looked puzzled, forgetting herself as she turned to face him. The warm blue gaze immediately caught her up. "I didn't do anything. What problem? Is this a ridiculous ploy to get me to talk to you? It's not going to work, you know."

He grinned, rubbing a hand absently through his hair. "Of course it's not. Not with that attitude. You did do something. You shredded my flowers, quite thoroughly in fact, and sent them back. At first, I was put out but then I realized that you had done me a favor. I had searched for something to make it perfect and memorable and you gave me the answer without even trying. I owe you, Katniss."

She snorted in disbelief. "You're crazy. That's the only explanation. What the hell are you talking about?"

The wicked spark flashed in those blue depths once more. "I'm talking about the first time we make love, Katniss. It will happen. I know it. I knew it the moment I saw you sitting so uncomfortably in that ridiculous dress. Even though you looked like you'd rather be anywhere else, you still burned like a brand. I knew at that moment that I would be yours if you'd have me."

"If I'd have you," she choked. "When we make…." Her words faltered as his sank in. Her mouth opened but no sound escaped.

"It's inevitable. Surely you know it." He smiled at her dumbfounded expression. "When it does, it will be perfect. I know it's clichéd to spread petals about but the idea appeals to me. I almost wish that I'd sent you violets. I can see you now…hair all tousled and spread out on the pillow, big gray eyes warm and sleepy looking up at me. Violets suit you…shy and deceptively simple but with unexpected depth and sweetness."

She felt her jaw fall a bit closer to the deck. The things that he said and the way he said them made her heart thunder in her chest. Just as strong was the urge to simply flee, lock herself in her cabin, and not come out again until they reached New York. She couldn't figure out what she wanted. No, she did know what she wanted. She wanted to slap him silly and then bury him with kisses. It was such a ridiculous thought that she could do nothing but stare at him in shock. The laughter started as residual chuckles, gained in both volume and strength before turning into a howl that left her shaking and gasping for air with tears streaming down her face.

"I'm sorry," she wheezed, rubbing her eyes with the back of her hand. "That was the most ludicrous thing that anyone's ever said to me." She laughed again. "You are something else, Peeta. You really are."

He cocked his head inquiringly but continued to smile. "Not the reaction I was expecting."

She let the chuckles taper off, a smile still on her face as she asked, "What reaction do you usually get? Do they just fall over with their feet in the air?" His amused look faded to a narrowed gaze and thin white lips.

"No, they don't," he bit out. "I'm not what people think I am. I hoped that you would see that. People see what they want to see. I usually don't care enough to change their opinion. I thought you'd be different, that you might look beyond the front and see me. Was I wrong to hope, Katniss?"

Her amusement cut off abruptly, as if a switch had been flipped. "It's never wrong to hope," she said carefully. "I don't know what you want from me, Peeta. I only met you yesterday and you're announcing that we're star-crossed and meant to be. It's hard to take that seriously."

He rubbed a hand thoughtfully along his jaw line as he watched her. Visibly bracing himself, he asked lightly, "So what can I do to make you take me seriously? What will it take?"

"What will it take?" she repeated. "Tell me something real. Something about you that isn't so wrapped up in bullshit. You want me to take you seriously…then give me you."

He gave her a shy smile that lit up his face and made him look almost boyish. If anything, it made him even more attractive than he already was. Bashful blue eyes flicked toward her and just as swiftly looked away. "I'm afraid of water," he mumbled. "I can't swim."

Katniss couldn't stop the grin that spread over her face. He sounded like a scared little boy. It was almost adorable. She waited until he peeked at her before asking gently, "Then why are you on a boat? Doesn't that make it worse?"

He gave a fatalistic shrug and mumbled, "It takes longer and there's at least a chance of privacy."

Remembering the hordes that surrounded him the first day, she shuddered. It was understandable that he'd want to have a little time to himself. She empathized with him. Sometimes, she craved solitude. She wanted the fade to black…where everything seemed to melt away. Then there were those times that she wished someone, anyone would notice that she was there. He looked so miserable; her heart went out to him. "I could teach you to swim if you wanted," she offered quietly. "I don't mind."

His brows raised hopefully, eyes running over her face as he tried to learn whether she was serious. "I'd really like that, Katniss," he answered. "Thank you."

She shrugged, "You're welcome. We can start later today if you want."

He frowned, shaking his head disappointedly. "I'm going ashore at the stopover today. I'm meeting someone. We can as soon as I get back if that's okay with you."

Her mouth tightened with ire. Just when she had decided to let her walls down, he reverted to form and showed her just how big of an idiot she was making herself out to be. "Forget it. It was a stupid idea anyway. Have fun."

He grabbed her arm in a loose grip as she whirled away. "You've really got to stop jumping to conclusions. I'm not blowing you off. I really do want to spend time with you but I can't now. I have a close friend of the family who lives in Villefranche-sur-Mer. It's the woman who raised me . She's the nearest thing to a grandmother that I have. You should come with me. You'd like her." He gave her a long, slow smile. "As the matter of fact, it's a great idea. Can you be ready to go by 3pm. The dory will be up and running by then." She could only nod by way of reply. "Good. Great. I'll see you then."

She turned and walked away from him, a riotous swarm of butterflies clamoring in her belly. A thought occurred to her. Facing him again, she asked carefully, "Where exactly are we going?"

He smiled enigmatically. "Il Cielo Sulla Terra," he answered. At her confused look, he laughed softly and repeated, "Il Cielo Sullo Terra…heaven on earth. Better get going. The boat will be leaving soon."

The words reverberated in her head as she walked to the dining room and sank down in her assigned seat. Heaven on earth. In his company, even heaven would be a little taste of hell.

End Part 2…..


	3. l'inizio di sempre (The Beginning of Always)

Chapter 3: l'inizio di sempre (The Beginning of Always)

Villefranche-sur-Mer rode the crests and swells of the steep cliffs as they ran down to the sea. The graceful buildings with their red-tiled roofs, the bell tower, and the distinguished profile of the church stood in sharp relief against a cerulean expanse of sky. As the dory bobbed into the harbor, Katniss tipped her head back and let her eyes take it all in. A contented sigh fell from her lips, drawing a low chuckle from the man at her side. She angled her head, giving him a smile along with an unapologetic shrug.

"Does this mean you're glad that you came with me," he inquired playfully.

She clasped her hands behind her as she stepped closer to the rail to look at the blue water that gave the Cote d'Azur its name. "I might be," she returned. "I'm withholding judgment. It's beautiful to be sure but I'm not entirely convinced that it deserves the distinction of being called Heaven on Earth. Not yet anyway."

His euphoric laughter drew her eyes. He leaned casually against the bulkhead, his own gaze trained on the towering cliffs ahead. She couldn't help but be grateful for his lack of attention because it gave her ample opportunity to study him. His jacket was tossed over a nearby chair leaving him clad only in light brown trousers and a white shirt, unbuttoned at the throat. The wind wreaked havoc with his already disheveled curls, leaving them a rumpled mess. His eyes took threads from the hot sky overhead and weaved them into a shifting tapestry as varied as the sun-kissed waters of the bay. He still looked at the crowded dock but the tiniest of smiles touched his mouth. He knew, the bastard. He knew and yet still said nothing. She dropped her eyes to the roughened planks beneath her feet, her cheeks pink as mortification set them aflame.

The quay was a lovely blending of old and new. Elegant scrollwork and decorative niches adorned pale stonework walkways where pastel shaded rowboats floated alongside larger vessels used to ferry passengers in from the massive ships riding anchor in the harbor. Katniss trailed after Peeta as he led the way to the taxi station, still in awe of the picturesque beauty of the town. She avoided his knowing look as she ducked into the waiting cab and tucked her skirt around her legs. He climbed in after her and pulled the door closed, leaning forward to murmur their destination to the driver. The man nodded and pulled into a street filled with the teeming mass that filled the street to bursting.

Peeta settled back and let his arm rest casually on the seat back behind her head. Katniss couldn't help but hunch her shoulders at his nearness. Her muscles were taut and strung out from the effort of keeping a semblance of space between them. He lounged in the seat, pointing out various landmarks as they passed. The cab finally cleared the congestion around the harbor and began the steep climb to the residential areas of the city. The higher they went, the larger the houses became tucked away within walled gardens and ancient groves of oak and umbrella pine.

"Where are we going," Katniss questioned. "We're headed into the outskirts."

Peeta nodded, his eyes still trained on the passing landscape. The closer they got to their destination, the more relaxed he seemed; almost as if a weight was being lifted a bit at a time. A playful grin blossomed on his face as he noted the scowl that had settled on her features. "We're going to visit Sae, or Sania Benivieni. She's the one I told you about. She moved here after she decided that I was capable of taking care of myself. She's quite a character. I think you'll like her."

Katniss eyed him dubiously. "You mean that you were being honest with me about visiting your grandmother." At his nod, her face flushed crimson yet again. "Peeta, I can't do this. What will she think of a stranger barging in? I'll have the driver take me back to the Rosamund or to a nearby café while you visit your friend." Her scandalized tones brought yet another smile to his face, this one tinged with a slight bitterness that he made no attempt to hide.

"You won't be barging in so just stop now." He scolded. "Sae loves company. She'll be offended if you don't come in and let her spoil you. She doesn't get the chance to mother very often anymore. You'll be doing her a favor. Trust me."

"You said that she practically raised you," Katniss settled back into the seat, turning to face him fully.

Peeta worried his bottom lip, for the first time letting a hint of unease peep through his habitually easy expression. "My parents weren't around much. My father was a diplomat and it wasn't unusual for us to move two or three times a year. We went wherever he was posted. Sae came to work for them a few months before I was born. Mother hired her to take care of the house when they were in Genoa. She worked out so well that they asked her to stay on. She was willing to travel with them so when they left, she came along. After I was born, she doubled as my nanny as well as being in charge of the house. Mother and Father were always being called away to one function or another so Sae was the one person who was always around. I guess you could say she sort of adopted me." He laughed, scrubbing a hand through his hair. "She insisted on what she called 'proper behavior for a young gentleman.' She can quell me with a look even now. Don't let that scare you. I think she always wanted a daughter to dote on so she'll love you."

Katniss looked at her hands clasped tightly in her lap. She started as pale fingers covered her twined hands and cut her eyes toward his face. The understanding she saw in his blue eyes made guilt twist her gut with a dull ache. "You thought I was lying," he stated rather than asked. "You came only to see me proven wrong. That would give you reason enough to avoid me in the future. Am I right?" She could only nod gray eyes solemn in her ashen face. Peeta smiled tightly and withdrew his hand. "I understand. I've given you no reason to trust me. Will you meet Sae with an open mind and try not to let your opinions of me color your manner toward her? She really does love company and will enjoy the chance to entertain."

Katniss swallowed noisily, feeling tears burn the back of her eyes. She hesitated only a moment before taking his hand between hers and holding it tightly. "I'm sorry," she muttered. "I've treated you unfairly and I apologize." She avoided his searching gaze as she unconsciously traced patterns on the back of his hand. "You're not…uh…that is…this isn't what I expected."

"I made a mistake with you, Katniss," he confessed just as softly. "I treated you like any other woman I've come across. By the time I realized my error, you'd already decided against me. As I said, most people see what they want to see. I don't make the effort to change that perception anymore. Sometimes, it's easier to go along to get along. I'm sorry that I misjudged you." He turned his palm into hers, curling their fingers together. "Shall we consider this a new beginning?"

She wet her lips as she drew up her courage enough to meet the hopeful blue gaze he turned on her. "I'd like that, Peeta." She stated. "I'd like that a lot."

"Good," he breathed. A smile, like sunlight breaking through the clouds, lit up his face "Good," he repeated firmly.

The cab slid to a stop before a wrought iron gate curved and bent into gorgeous patterns. It looked like something alive instead of a construct, all willowy curves and gentle lines. Peeta paid the driver and bade him to wait. He rapidly keyed a code into a recessed panel and stood aside to let her enter before coming through and shutting the gate behind them. A high hedge ran perpendicular to the gate, shielding the house from view. "Go ahead," he whispered. "I want to see your reaction." Curious, Katniss followed the cobblestone pathway until it rounded the hedge. She stopped short, her eyes wide and wondering at the vista spread out before her. "Welcome to Heaven," Peeta whispered teasingly. She didn't answer, too caught up in the sight of the house and surrounding gardens. Letting her eyes feast on the sight, she nodded to herself. If heaven was a place on Earth, she'd just stumbled through its gates.

Honey tinted stone warmed by the sun covered the house's craggy outer walls. Window boxes of the same dark metal as the main gate blossomed from generous window, promising that the interior would be filled with air and light. Geraniums in every hue overflowed and cascaded from vases and the aforementioned boxes. Jasmine hung heavy in the air. Everywhere, there was something new to catch and hold the eye. Statuary stood at attention in cunningly placed alcoves. A pond edged with reeds and cattails filled up one corner of the garden. Its limpid surface shimmered in the afternoon sun. Katniss did a slow turn, eyes darting from side to side as she tried to take it all in at once. "It's beautiful," she whispered. "It's like something out of a fairy tale, Peeta."

He was saved from answering by a feminine voice, lightly accented, calling his name. He turned toward the sound, a broad grin covering his face. A trim figure came into view, gray curls covered by a delicate ivory shawl, her arms held outstretched toward the man who walked quickly toward her. Katniss watched in bemusement as the woman waved aside his embrace to cup his chin in her hands and lightly kiss both cheeks. She said something in rapid fire Italian that caused him to throw back his head and laugh heartily. He answered in kind, shaking his head at what was clearly a scolding tone. The woman gave him an exasperated look, patted his cheek firmly, and then cut her eyes toward the girl who stood silently watching. "Introduce me to your friend, scamp. She must think that we are barbarians for not welcoming her properly."

Peeta rolled his eyes, but offered Sae an arm as the two of them made their way to Katniss. He kept a supporting arm about the older woman's shoulders and gestured unnecessarily with his free hand. "Sae, this is Katniss Everdeen. She's travelling on the Rosamund. I coaxed her to come along with me on the understanding that she would have an enjoyable afternoon. Katniss, please allow me to present Sania Benivieni, Sae for short."

Sae looked the still silent girl over, taking in every single detail. The wrist thick braid hung neatly down her back while gray eyes peered solemnly from a pretty olive-skinned face. She was small but strong, neatly dressed in a light skirt and blouse that was neither showy nor overly modest. Sae nodded in approval. "Katniss," she rolled the name on her tongue as if tasting it. "It's a good name. It fits you, girl. Not frilly but soft enough on the tongue. I dislike your American fondness for harsh syllables. It sounds like you have something caught in your throat."

Katniss couldn't stop the grin at the woman's bluntness. "I can't take the credit, ma'am. My father had a fondness for the outdoors. He named my sister and me after flowers."

Sae nodded firmly. "A sensible man. There aren't many sensible men these days or women for that matter. Everybody is in a hurry, scurrying around like ants. It makes my head ache to think about it. That's why I made my own little world here. There's no hurry or rush in my little piece of heaven. You are welcome, Katniss Everdeen."

Katniss laughed, obviously enjoying herself. "Thank you so much. I'm very glad to be here."

Sae unwound her arm from Peeta's and threaded it through Katniss's bent arm. "Thom is puttering around somewhere, Peeta. Why don't you find him so that the two of you can catch up on gossip? I will keep Katniss company."

"Don't tell her any embarrassing stories," Peeta ordered. "She already has a low enough opinion of me. I wouldn't want it to bottom out completely."

Sae waved him away, her attention focused on the girl laughing behind her hand. "Let's go to the house. I have a lovely tea ready. We can relax and have a nice talk. You will tell me about yourself and how you came to be in the company of my Peeta."

Katniss gave Peeta a fleeting glance, catching the resigned expression that flickered briefly on his face. She sent him a reassuring smile before allowing Sae to lead her toward the house. She waited until they were seated before speaking, "I can't fathom why he brought me here. I'm sorry to have barged in on you unexpectedly. He insisted on my coming along."

Sae poured the tea and added a dollop of honey along with a generous splash of cream before setting the cup before her. She gestured to the tray which held an assortment of fruit, cheese, and small sandwiches, indicating that Katniss should serve herself. She then sat back in her chair and studied the girl intently before answering. "Peeta is something of an impulsive soul. He always has been. It was a full-time job to keep him occupied as a child. So many questions and so much energy in one small boy. He never wanted to stay in one place. His mamma and papa were called away often and the family moved from one place to another so the lad was always the new face. He spent a lot of time trailing behind me. I'm afraid that he never learned to take no for an answer."

Katniss choked on a buttery cookie and reached for the tea, downing it in three quick swallows. Sae's bright eyes watched her closely as she fought to catch her breath. "Uh…I'm beginning to figure that out," she stuttered. "He's been pretty forward from our first meeting the opening night of the voyage. I didn't know what to make of him at first."

Sae cackled, dipping a cookie into her tea before popping it into her mouth. "I'd wager that you still don't know what to make of him, girl. That boy has a way of twisting a person around his little finger whether they want to or not." She gave Katniss a sideways glance out of the corner of her eye. "You're not the little blonde thing that all the papers have him marrying as soon as he gets back home. In fact, you look nothing like the girls he's usually seen with. You're not very big or very pretty, girl. What do you think he sees in you?"

Katniss stiffened at the mention of Madge Undersee and Peeta's engagement. She's successfully managed to put that out of her mind. With Sae's words, the reality of their situation came rushing back. She felt her brow pucker, lips thinning to a tight, white line. "I think he needed something to keep him occupied on the voyage home and I was convenient. I told him that I wasn't interested in being his plaything but he was insistent on hanging around. I'm sorry if that's unflattering but it's the truth. I didn't ask for this and I don't want it. I have other things to think about."

Sae lowered her cup to the table top and studied the girl whose gaze was still locked on her folded hands. "Let me tell you a story, Katniss. It will do you good." She pulled a thin silver chain from the neck of her dress to display the ring hanging there. The setting was a plain band with a simple filigree pattern around the three stone setting. The ring showcased a pearl flanked by two rose cut diamonds. The iridescent surface of the pearl shown with flecks of carnelian, emerald, and cobalt. Its beauty took Katniss's breath. "My Stefano was an American like you. He was on leave in Genoa and came by the trattoria where I waited at tables. He came by every day after for the next two weeks. He asked to walk me home the second night and I could not refuse him. I knew from the moment our eyes met that he would be mine and I would be his. We fell in love, girl, in the blink of an eye." She snapped her fingers for emphasis.

"My parents forbade me to see him but how could I deny what my heart knew to be true. I left my home and followed him to his base where we were married. We spent four good years together, my Stefano and I. We planned to buy a house in this very town when he could leave. He wanted me to stay close to home and I wanted him to be near the sea. He loved it so, you must understand, almost as much as he loved me. He was killed in a training exercise just six months from his discharge date." Sae pulled a lacy handkerchief from her pocket and daubed at her eyes. "I didn't know what to do with myself. My cousin found me the job with Mr. and Mrs. Mellark or I would have gone crazy in my grief. The little one saved my soul as the job had saved my mind. At last, here was someone that needed me as much as I needed him. He grew up, learning my Italian and my love of art and music. He paints, did he tell you?" Katniss wordlessly shook her head causing Sae to sigh dejectedly. "He gave it up after his papa and mamma passed on. He's very talented, my Peeta. You must ask him to draw for you, yes?"

"I didn't know that about him," Katniss murmured. "He never told me."

"The Mellarks died in a car accident just after Peeta's eighteenth birthday," Sae confided. "It hit him hard. He loved them despite their shortcomings. He always wanted to please them. After their death, he tried to bury himself in what they wanted him to be. I watched him fade away a piece at a time…the women, running from place to place, the charming mask that he wears for the world. That's not my Peeta. It's a crude imitation of the good man he could be if only he would allow it." She took a deep breath and made a broad gesture, encompassing the house and garden. "He bought this place for me to come to when I could no longer work in his house. He knew my wish to live where my Stefano and I had planned to before his death. He had listened to my stories often enough to know exactly how it should be…and that is how I found it the first time I came through the gate. It was like coming home. I was home. My Peeta made sure of that."

Katniss reeled from the flood of information, her mind furiously sorting through conflicting emotions. It was all an act. All of it. If this woman was to be believed, and Katniss had no reason to suspect any duplicity on her part, everything she thought she knew about Peeta Mellark was not real. How had he managed to fool her, to fool everyone for so long? Was he right that people only saw what they wanted to when they looked at him? Was he judged sight unseen because of a few vile rumors and petty talk? Katniss felt her stomach writhe as the truth became clear. Yes, they had. Yes, she had. That didn't change the fact that he'd behaved abominably considering that he was, without a doubt, engaged to Madge Undersee. That was unpardonable, in Katniss's opinion. He was promised to another, but that promise clearly meant nothing if he was able to set it aside so easily.

Sae watched the play of emotions cross the girl's face, following them with ease. When she settled on stony indifference, Sae couldn't help but smile. This girl was no shrinking violet. She would stand her ground and fight if she had to. "You remind me of me once upon a time, piccola. Such fire and determination. Yes, I can see why he likes you."

Katniss snorted, unable to keep from rolling her eyes. "He's engaged, Sae. He made promises to Madge Undersee and yet the moment we met, he seemed to forget all about her. I can't overlook that. I can't excuse it."

The woman levered herself up from the table and gestured for the younger to follow her. "Come with me, Katniss. I wish for you to see something. I think It will help you to understand even if you can't as you say, overlook Peeta's actions." She chose another cobbled pathway that curved around the edge of the house. Katniss followed, an odd combination of curiosity and reluctance slowing her step. She didn't want the woman to tear down her carefully constructed walls that kept him out. She couldn't afford to let him get any closer than he already was, not if she wanted to get home with her sanity and her heart relatively intact.

The grounds continued to be immaculately tended. They passed a bench snuggled under a trellis shaded in ivy and surrounded by beds bursting with a rainbow of blooms laid out in concentric circles. The shades blended from pale to deep jeweled tones radiating out from the center. Katniss cast a longing glance at the bench. Here was a place of absolute serenity. She wanted to dive into it and never come out. Sae gave a soft snort of laughter, as if reading the younger girls thoughts but she didn't comment. She continued to follow the path as it wound its way closer and closer to the boundary wall. She slowed and waved a hand expansively. Katniss cocked her head inquiringly, following the woman's gaze to the sloping expanse of lawn. Her breath caught in her throat at the sight.

The grass bent low, its feathered tips following eddies and currents of the shifting breeze. Wildflowers of every shade dotted the meadow. The studied order of the rest of the garden was completely absent here. Nature was given free rein to do exactly as she wished. The result was a tangled wildwood that leached the tension from Katniss's shoulders and loosened the furrows that had etched permanent lines in her brow. She raised her face to the warm kiss of the sun and closed her eyes as the distant sound of chimes and water soothed her.

"I thought you would appreciate this," Sae murmured. "Even heaven has to have a few weeds in its garden, don't you think?" She took a seat on a roughhewn wooden bench nestled beneath a towering oak and gave the girl an appraising look. "Thom detests my meadow. He calls it an eyesore because it doesn't have the perfection and symmetry to match the rest of his masterpiece. I disagree and I think you would too. Nature left to its own means always creates beauty. Thom doesn't see that, but I can't fault him for it. Who chooses the flower and the weed if not the gardener?"

Katniss shrugged, her eyes clearly showing her confusion. "I don't understand. Weeds are unwanted. Most gardeners go to great lengths to keep weeds out but you've deliberately left this area alone. Why?"

Sae nodded approvingly, patting the girl's hand as she turned her attention back to the meadow. "Let me try again. My Peeta is like the flowers that Thom favors. He's what you would call a hothouse bloom—one that has been nurtured and carefully looked after. It's beautiful and desirable but if left on its own, it wouldn't last. It needs to be sheltered and loved to reach its full potential. You, however, are a weed. You stand tall and proud even in the tallest grass, needing nothing but the sun and rain. Some would say that a weed and a bloom can't co-exist. I disagree. I think that they need each other because one has what the other does not. Nothing can survive in a vacuum, piccola. We all need to be needed and accepted by someone, the dandelion as much as the rose."

"You're telling me that Peeta isn't as strong and confident as he seems," Katniss guessed. "That he needs someone who is strong in their own right." Sae nodded solemnly. "You don't approve of the girl he's going to marry. You don't think she will be that for him."

Sae worried her bottom lip, choosing her words carefully. "I think the girl would make someone a splendid wife. My Stefano was the quiet one, the gentle one. He lived and breathed for beauty. He loved me for all the things that I was that he was not, you understand." She brought her hands together, fingers intertwined. "Together, we were more than we were alone. Madge Undersee and Peeta would be happy but would they complete each other as a husband and wife should? I think not." Sae glanced over her shoulder at the sound of approaching footsteps. "And now our time together has come to an end. You must visit me again, Katniss. I have much enjoyed our talk."

Katniss smiled but stayed silent as Peeta joined them, his eyes darting from one to the other. Sae tucked her arm into his and commented, "You don't come often enough, boy. I will soon forget your face if this habit continues."

Peeta laughed and patted her hand where it rested on his forearm. "You could never forget me. I'm your favorite person in the world, next to Thom of course. He still bemoans your 'wasteland' as he calls it. He has great plans for a rose garden but says you refuse to let him into this part of the garden."

Sae tossed her head, waving her hand to show her unconcern for the man's plight. "He can dig and plant to his heart's content when I'm dead and gone. Until then, my word here is law. He will get over the disappointment."

Peeta merely laughed and dropped a kiss on the woman's worn cheek. She patted his fondly in return. "I won't walk you to the gate. I do not like to see a guest go. It dims the pleasure of their company. Peeta, do come back soon. Bring this one with you. She is welcome." Sae opened her arms and Katniss stepped into her embrace without thought. The woman pulled her close and whispered fiercely in her ear, "Keep that fire, piccola. It will protect you in time of need. I will remember your face, Katniss."

Katniss pressed her cheek against Sae's fondly before pulling back. "Good bye, Sae. I hope we meet again."

"If we do not, my girl, I will send you something to remember me by." The woman loosened her arms and enfolded Peeta in a hearty embrace. He whispered something Katniss didn't catch, laughed softly at the reply then stepped back reluctantly. "I'll be back soon," he promised.

"Go safely and well, my boy. I'll see you again." Sae waved them away, folding her shawl more tightly about her shoulders.

They backed toward the gate, raising a hand in farewell before ducking around the high cut hedge that led to the gate and the world beyond. Katniss's steps slowed as they approached. Peeta looked at her curiously. "I almost don't want to leave, "she whispered. "It's perfect here."

"It is," he agreed. "I never want to go but this is her world. You can come back, Katniss. She would love it if you did."

"Maybe," Katniss said, head turning for a last glimpse of the garden before she climbed into the waiting cab. "Someday."

XOXOXOXOXOXOOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX OXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

She stood alone on the moon drenched deck and watched the last vestiges of Villefranche-sur-Mer fade into the distance. The ship had waited until after the dinner hour to get underway. Many of the passengers had chosen to spend the extra time ashore, taking advantage of the large port and ready supply of seafood to sample the native cuisine. Katniss and Peeta had taken the first transport back to the Rosamund and ate aboard. The chef not to be outdone had offered up a variety of dishes. Katniss had taken Peeta's suggestion and ordered the lampughe. She eyed the plate somewhat hesitantly but was lost after the first bite. She almost choked when told that the side dish was katniss. The chef was apparently an acquaintance and had happily parted with the blooms that had been delivered to her room the first night aboard.

"I wondered how you managed to find them in the middle of the ocean," she said. "It seemed a little too good to be true."

He flushed, toying with the collar of his shirt as he unsuccessfully fought to keep a smile from his face. "That's why your name caught my attention. I'd been hearing about this fabulous new ingredient that Chaff had discovered. He's convinced that it will be the next big thing. Chaff is known for his innovation. He had intentions of using the flowers to garnish the plates, sort of a backhanded advertisement. I talked him into sparing a few. I thought you'd like them."

"I did," she muttered. "I'm just not in the habit of accepting gifts from strangers, especially engaged ones."

He didn't comment other than to raise a brow at her tone. Katniss bit her tongue before she said something she'd likely regret. The barely hidden venom that laced her words gave too much away. She hurriedly finished the rest of her meal and made her way out on deck. It was largely deserted, the sky shot through with stars and draped in silvery skeins of light from the three-quarter moon. Quiet footsteps coming closer loosened a swirling mass of sparks and embers in her belly. She closed her eyes, listening as they stopped just behind her. Warm hands settled on her shoulders and she shivered. They moved down the length of her arm and back up briskly to ward off her supposed chill. She couldn't find the words to tell him that she wasn't cold. She couldn't think. She couldn't breathe.

The movement of the ship and the moon reflecting off the water lulled her into a false sense of peace. It was so hard to hang on to her resolve when everything else told her to let go. Here and now, all the reasons for holding back and denying what was happening between them seemed trite. She wanted him and he clearly wanted her. She could see it in the way his eyes followed her, in the touch of his hand, the way his voice roughened and deepened when he breathed her name.

It's the moon, she thought as she turned into him and let his draw her closer. She let the languid heat that invaded her limbs melt away any remaining doubt. It makes people do strange things, behave in ways they normally never would. She wasn't falling in love with Peeta Mellark, she told herself. It's only the moon.

Molten honey coursed through her veins as his lips found a sensitive spot just below her ear. Effervescent and light. Flying and falling at the same time. That was how she felt. A raspy moan drew an answering one from her. Ragged breath ebbed and flowed as his wandering mouth mapped the lines and planes of her neck. She felt her head tilt of its own accord to give him access to the delta of her collar bones. He laved the vale with the flat of his tongue, one hand snaking around her waist while the other cupped the back of her head to hold her steady.

Too much. It was too much too soon. She wasn't ready for the way her softer curves fit with the hard lines of him. He murmured his approval when her arching back aligned them fully, legs twining, hips rocking together. "Let me," he whispered as his fingers found the pearl buttons of her thin blouse.

"We can't," she sighed into his kiss. "Someone will see."

He hissed in frustration, bending to take a silk covered nipple into his mouth. Her breath left in a rush at the gorgeous contact. She forgot herself for a moment as her fingers tangled in his hair to press him closer. A sudden rush of air feathered over her chest as he eased the buttons free one after the other. "I need to touch you," he groaned. "I have to, Katniss."

"Not here," she said quietly. She stepped out of the embrace, fingers moving to straighten mussed clothes and push aside loose strands of hair. "I'll go to my cabin. Wait five minutes and then knock."

She moved away from him on unsteady legs, avoiding the way his eyes seemed to catch fire in the wavering light. He whispered her name, one hand lifted to catch hers. She deftly avoided it and him as she fled the deck and beat a hasty retreat to her cabin. She could hear nothing except the pounding of her heart thundering in her ears; feel nothing except the lingering heat of his mouth. Damn him. Damn her traitorous limbs for the way they dissolved into his. Damn her for feeling this way when she knew he couldn't be hers. Not fully.

By the time his knock sounded, she had managed to rein in her galloping heart. She pulled the door open and gestured for him to enter. He stepped past her and leaned casually against the wall, staring out the porthole as she closed the door behind him. She rubbed her hands together, unsure how to go forward. There was so much to say, but she had no words. She stared at him helplessly, willing him to be the first to speak. He didn't disappoint.

"I never asked her," he whispered. "I never said the words, not directly. We spent time together, more often over the last six months. Her mother made the comment that it was time we made it official. That's what got the thing started." He smiled bitterly, crossing his arms over his chest as he continued to stare into the dark. "Madge started hinting that she was ready for more. I knew it was a mistake but I couldn't think of a reason why I shouldn't. She's beautiful, smart, and we share a lot of the same interests. She's the kind of girl my mother would have loved. I never asked her to marry me but I didn't stop it from making the rounds when the talk started. There didn't seem to be a point. All I could think of was it might as well be Madge." He finally met her gaze. "That changed the minute I saw you. I can't explain it. It sounds ridiculous but I knew that you would be important to me. I just didn't know how much."

She shook her head, arms folded tightly over her stomach as she met his pleading look with anguished eyes. "You don't know what you're saying, what you're doing, Peeta. You still made a promise to her. You didn't stop it when you had the chance. Do you think that I can forget that and be with you now? Do you think I can let all that go?"

He shook his head angrily, hands clenched into unintentional fists at his side. "I'm not asking you to let anything go or to do anything that you don't want. If you want me, Katniss, then the rest of it is done. I will end it the moment we dock in New York. I don't want to hurt her but, if it means that we can be together, I'll do it. What about you? Can you say the same?"

She dropped her head, biting her bottom lip until blood beaded, metal and salt heavy on her tongue. "It's different for me," she said softly. "He's waiting on my answer. I haven't said anything yet that I can't take back."

"Do you love him?" Peeta demanded. He stepped closer and tilted her chin up until their gazes locked.

She blew out a shaky breath at the touch of his hand, but met his eyes unflinching. "I don't now," she confided. "I don't think that I ever did. Not really."

He eased closer, hand sliding down to cup her cheek. "And me," he mused. "Do you think you could love me?"

She closed her eyes at the sudden rush of emotions that flooded through her upon hearing those words. Her face turned into his palm of its own accord. Catching his hand in hers, she held it against her cheek. "I think," she said haltingly, "that we're playing with fire, Peeta. If we're not careful, it will burn both of us to the ground."

"Tell me to go then," he ordered. "Tell me to leave and I will."

The words wouldn't come. They hung in her throat, a tight knot of want and regret that choked her. But they wouldn't come. She couldn't get them out. She didn't want to. And he saw it. He gave her a searching look then nodded to himself. Without further ado, he bent and lifted her into his arms. His mouth found hers in a kiss that left her breathless and wanting. Her fingers wound their way into the hair at his nape and pulled him down. Their lips met once, then twice…teasing and claiming.

He placed her gently on the bed and followed her down, blue eyes solemn and intent as he took in every flicker of the roller coaster of emotions that raced across her face. He was giving her the chance to stop, she realized. Holding back so that she could be sure that this was what she wanted. Her hands found the buttons of his shirt and slowly unfastened them one by one. She looked up to meet his eyes and almost cried at the unbound joy she found there. He shrugged out of his coat and let the shirt fall unheeded once the last button let go. Peeta tugged at the hem of her blouse questioningly, seeming shocked when she took the hint and pulled it over her head, dropping it to the floor.

"Are you sure," he questioned. "I'll wait as long as you need me to, Katniss."

She shook her head, smiling softly to herself as she eased off the rest of her clothes, reveling in the awed look he gave her as every new inch of skin was revealed. It didn't take him but a moment to catch up and then there was nothing between them. Nothing but dappled moonlight and need.

They came together slowly, mouths meeting like old friends. Hands roamed freely over uncharted valleys and hills, finding those places that turned breaths into sighs and sighs into moans. He discovered that kissing the thin skin of her neck made her press against him in a delicious fashion. She found that he was ticklish along his ribs and scraping her nails down his spine made him groan her name. Warm lips captured taut peaks, teasing them into tight buds. Limbs loosened and opened as bodies aligned. He fused them together, whispering her name as heat surrounded and enfolded him. She winced at first, awkward until it eased and settled her legs firmly about his hips as they began to move.

The pace was languid and slow, a steady building that coiled tighter until the world stopped and held. Harder. Deeper. Breath coming in short, quick snatches. Foreheads pressed together, lips finding each other. Touch. Taste. Want. Need. Fire…always fire. She burned him like a brand. The words were torn from him unbidden as he felt her begin to fall. "Ti amo, ti amo." They moved together faster, her legs falling to the side as shudders wracked her body. "Ero morto dentro prima di incontrarti." His hands cupped her face, holding her steady as him lips found hers. ". Voglio passare ogni momento di ogni giorno con te." She turned her face into his shoulder, hips rising and falling to meet his quickening pace. "Ogni respiro ed ogni battito del mio cuore mi offre un altra possibilita di innamorarmi di te." A soft cry escaped her, nails digging into his shoulders as she rushed headlong toward the cliff, dragging him over with her. "Ho solo bisogno di questo. Ho solo bisogno di te." The last came out as a breathy whisper as she took everything he had to give.

She pushed the sweaty curls that had plastered themselves to his forehead aside and let her lips trace the lines of his face. He closed his eyes, enjoying the gentle touches as his breathing gradually slowed and steadied. "What did you say?" She asked curiously. He stiffened, turning his face into the pillow to hide the heated flush of his cheeks. "Tell me," she demanded, poking him roughly in the ribs as he continued to avoid her gaze.

Peeta bit back a laugh at her belligerent tone. He kissed her softly, fingers twining together on the pillow by her head. "I said that you are beautiful and that I couldn't imagine that anything could be better than being right here with you. I would stay here forever if I could."

She rolled her eyes, playfully smacking his shoulder. "You're a sap, you know. You should write cards for Hallmark in your spare time."

He shifted to the side and pulled her with him until she lay nestled against his side with her head resting on his chest right above his heart. "Your sweet talk leaves a lot to be desired, my dear. You should sleep. It's been a long day. You have to be exhausted." Her answering yawn pulled a grin from him. "Go to sleep, Katniss. We will talk in the morning."

He felt her limbs grow heavy as her breathing slowed and deepened. She mumbled something under her breath, edged closer until her lips barely grazed a spot on his neck. He tightened his arms about her in response and waited until she was clearly under before speaking again. He kissed her forehead, fingers gentle as they pushed tangled dark strands away from her face. "I wasn't completely honest with you," he murmured. "I didn't want to scare you but I had to say it. I couldn't hold it in anymore. I love you, Katniss." He eased down until he could clearly see her sleeping face. "I was dead inside until I met you." His voice shook but he continued, determined to get the words out. "I want to spend every minute of every day of the rest of my life with you. Every breath and every beat of my heart gives me another chance to fall in love with you again. I just need this, Katniss. I just need you."

He let out a long slow breath before closing his eyes. That was it then. It was done. He pulled her more tightly against him and let himself go not realizing that she'd heard every word.

End part 3…


	4. Io Sono Tuo E Tu Sei Mia (I Am Yours And You Are Mine)

Chapter 4: Io Sono Tuo E Tu Sei Mia (I Am Yours And You Are Mine)

Waking up was an experience in and of itself. She came to consciousness slowly but fully aware that something had been irretrievably changed in the course of a few fleeting hours. The world shifting on its axis should have had more of an effect than a swiftly indrawn breath. That was the only reaction she was capable of giving...a sharp inhale followed by a long, slow exhale. Things were different now. She was different now.

She'd slept with a man before, sharing blankets and pillows while occupying the same space. This was altogether different. This was waking up with one-something she'd never done, not even with Gale. The heavy warmth beside her made her want to curl into it and soak it up. Light tugs on her hair were soothing. She could feel the strands being fanned out like a halo. Something softer than the sheet beneath her brushed her bare shoulder. Katniss frowned as she tried to work out what was happening without opening her eyes. The longer she lay here, the more she could pretend that what happened hadn't changed everything she knew to be true.

She felt lips trace the line of her jaw right before a husky voice mumbled, "I know you're awake. Open your eyes for me so I can see if I was right." She turned her head toward the sound and pried her lids open, only to close them again to ward off the brilliant yellow light puddled in the floor and across the bed. "Come on," he cajoled softly. "Open your eyes."

She blinked once and again before turning a bleary stare on the blond man lying beside her. "Morning," she mumbled. "What are you doing?"

He gave her a smile as bright as the light turning his mop of curls to spun gold. "I want to see if I was right about something." He leaned back to study her, occasionally moving a stray strand to a place more to his liking. He grinned as he reached behind him for a porcelain cup setting on the bedside table. He wouldn't let her see what was in it, moving the cup out of reach when she made a grab for it. "Wait," he scolded. "I'm not done yet." His face was a study in concentration as he poured the contents into his hand. He leaned down and pressed a kiss to her forehead as his hands busily spread the contents around. He sat the cup down, and rose to a sitting position, a satisfied smile on his face. "I was right. They're perfect."

She gave him a confused look until a new scent caught her attention…wispy, shy, the very essence of spring. Lifting her head, she caught a glimpse of the smallish purple blossoms dotting her dark hair and the snowy expanse of the sheet. She picked one up and brought it closer, feeling her cheeks turning to flame.

Violets. He'd covered her in violets just as he said he would. Her heart thumped a double beat in her chest. What the hell was she going to do now?

He hesitated, taking note of the way she surreptitiously avoided his eyes. "Katniss, is something wrong?"

"No," she blurted. "No. I'm just…uh…that is…it's getting late and we're going to miss breakfast. We should probably get going." She moved to toss back the sheet only to freeze as he caught her hand and pulled her back down. "Please, Peeta. I need to get dressed."

He shook his head and then lifted her chin until their eyes met and caught. "You need to tell me what's wrong. I can't fix it if I don't know what it is. Are you having second thoughts? I offered you an out last night. I thought that you'd decided that this was what you wanted. Has hindsight and the cold light of day changed your mind?"

"I don't know," she muttered, pushing his hand aside and toying with the crumpled velvety petals of a ragamuffin violet that lay forgotten on the blanket. "It didn't seem to matter last night. I couldn't think straight. I still can't. There's so much wrong with what we did, Peeta. Surely you can see that."

"Can I?" He queried lazily. "You want to know if I think what happened between us was a mistake." He took the violet and cradled it in his palm, smoothing the petals with a finger. A smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. "I owe you for a floral arrangement, by the way. These were buried in a hedge of roses. I couldn't resist taking a few. I'm rather surprised. I took you for a wildflowers sort of girl. Obviously, I was mistaken."

She stared at him in shock before she could stop herself. How could he possibly know after only a few days? Gale had known her for years but he still had no clue how much she detested roses. Peeta immediately noticed her changing expression. His smile broadened to a triumphant grin. Before he could speak, she hurriedly broke in. "They're not mine. You can shred the lot for all I care."

"For all you care," he mused softly. "I wonder if you even know how much or little that is or how it can change in an instant. Last night wasn't a mistake, Katniss. Last night was as close to perfect as anything I've ever experienced. I think you felt it too if you'd just look past your fear and be honest."

She laughed and tugged the sheet up as she rolled to face him, gray eyes solemn and direct. "Honest," she rolled the word out, tasting each syllable. "Honest. I can be honest if you can." She drew up her knees and used them to support her crossed arms. "I heard you, what you said after you thought I was asleep. I heard every word."

Peeta's mouth fell open as her meaning became clear. It was his turn to look uncomfortable as he turned his attention to the fine stitching of the coverlet. He traced the whorls and loops as he searched for a reply. Finally, he let out a breath and met her challenging stare with a resolute look. "Good. I'm glad you heard me. You should know how I feel. We need to be honest with each other or this won't work." He leaned forward and propped his chin on her bent knees. "I love you. There, I said it. Is that what you want to hear? I love you, Katniss."

Her eyes rounded at his bold declaration. Of all the responses she'd considered, she never thought it would come to this. Faced with his words and earnest expression, she had no recourse but to accept them or deny them outright. He sounded so damned sincere and sure of himself and yet they'd only met three days ago. It wasn't possible. There was no such thing as love at first sight unless one lived in a fairy tale. She unconsciously shook her head, and then flattened her legs to the mattress before swinging them free of the sheets. His iron grip on her wrist was the only thing that kept her from falling to the floor in an untidy heap in her haste to put some distance between them. "You can't," she stuttered. "You don't know me and I don't know you. We just met. You can't mean what you're saying."

He pulled her closer, angled so that they faced each other amid the tangled sheets. Her expression wavered from doubt to disbelief to anger and back again. His didn't change. Calm, composed surety was written all over him. It made her want to punch him or kiss him. She swung between the two extremes like a pendulum. "I know you," he stated. "I've seen who you are at the most basic level. I've seen how you care deeply about those you choose to let inside your walls. I've seen your kindness and your compassion. I don't know your favorite color or your first pet's name but that will come with time. I know enough to know that I love you. More than that, I'm falling in love with you every minute I spend with you."

"Peeta," she said softly, almost too softly to hear.

"Katniss," he returned just as quietly.

She felt it again…that churning, spinning fire that melted her limbs and turned her blood into a bubbling, frothing torrent. The abrupt emotional shift took her by surprise. How could one word, one phrase from him have such an effect? She didn't know and, now, she could have cared less. She wanted him and he was here and she wasn't going to waste the opportunity. Peeta watched the play of emotions cross her face. He couldn't miss the way her eyes darkened as she glanced at his lips and back again. He couldn't help but notice how the pulse in her throat beat out a rapid tattoo. He couldn't stop himself from easing her down and rising on elbow to hover over her.

He looked at her the way she imagined that he looked at a new canvas...all intent eyes and folded hands. She lay exactly as he had placed her...breathing light and shallow, limbs deceptively relaxed but quaking with electric tremors. She adored that look, mesmerized by the way he got swept up in the moment. The world shrank to a point that contained only them. She wanted to be that for him...have him so wrapped up in her that everything else disappeared.

He touched her first with his eyes. They ghosted over silky dark strands fanned out on the pillow, over misty gray eyes and olive cheeks flushed with a heady blend of nervous excitement and desire. Pushing back the sheet, he looked his fill. From tousled waves to curling toes, no part of her escaped his notice. He brought his eyes back to hers and smiled as they flickered away. "Bold one minute and shy the next. What a delightful contradiction you are, my love? I don't think I'll ever be able to figure you out."

His hands followed the path his eyes had already travelled. Brushed the loose strands away from her forehead. Thumbs smoothed her cheekbones and followed the curve of her lips. Down the line of her throat and lingering on the pulse point. Consciously avoiding the swell of her breasts but splaying and covering the planes of her belly and the swell of her hip. Discovering the slope of her thigh, the hollow of her knee, the round of her calf. She sighed into his kiss, lips brushing and lingering, tasting and testing.

As before, they came together without thought or hesitance. It was as if they'd always known it would be like this. Peeta shifted until they lay side-by-side facing each other with only a thin sliver of white sheet between them. He kissed her gently and pulled back until her hazy eyes focused on him. "I'm going to love you but before I do, is this what you want? I won't have doubt between us." She eschewed words and opted to let her actions speak for her. She placed featherlike kisses along his jaw on her way back to his mouth. Finding it once more, she buried her fingers into the curls at his nape. There was no need for words. They only complicated what should be, what was in the end, a simple thing. Nobody had ever made her feel like this.

Kisses became urgent as want gave way to need. His hand grasped her knee and draped it over his hip as their legs braided together. Hard planes met supple hills, sweat-slick and trembling. She felt him, thick and hard against her and couldn't stop the shiver that danced up her spine. She gathered him in, turning on her back as he rose above her. Blue eyes, solemn and sure, flickered shut as he fused them together. Warmth became heat. Heat became fire. Fire became an inferno.

She turned her head into his shoulder as the ebb and flow became too much. She was there… right on the edge and it was only a matter of time until she fell. "Peeta," his name fell from her lips on labored breath.

"Katniss," he murmured back, lips lightly brushing her cheek.

"Talk to me," she pleaded. "Say something. Say anything."

He cupped her chin in both hands, staring into her eyes but never stopping or slowing his pace. "Tesoro, ti amo." His kiss softened and deepened. " Il mio cuore e' tuo." She moaned into his mouth as the first tremors coursed through her. He reached down and lifted her leg higher, altering the angle and depth. He groaned as she tightened around him. "Sono tuo e tu sei mia, Katniss)" She exploded, falling apart and taking him with her. He waited until their breathing and pulse steadied and slowed before he confided, "I don't want to lose this. I don't want to lose us."

"Neither do I," she returned.

He chuckled and then dropped a kiss on her forehead. "That's it then. We're in this together."

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Breakfast was delivered on a covered tray carried by a smiling red-haired girl who fussed over the napkins and murmured her get well wishes before quietly leaving. Katniss watched her in perplexed silence, then shrugged and set the dome covering her plate aside. There was much more food than one person could eat—creamy scrambled eggs, fragrant rashers of bacon, honey golden toast with an assortment of jams and jellies. "You can come out now," she called.

Peeta slipped out of the adjoining bathroom, scrubbing his damp curls with a towel as he joined her at the low table. He gave the toast a scornful look but took a wedge and covered it with a spoonful of eggs before folding it over and popping it into his mouth.

"Do you have something against toast in general or are these just special?" Katniss asked curiously.

"This isn't toast," he pronounced solemnly. "This is a pitiful approximation. I keep trying to make Chaff understand that even the worst fresh made bakery bread is still a thousand times better than this stuff. He begs to differ. I told him that he should beg…beg me to teach him how to bake a proper loaf of decent bread. He refuses but only out of professional pride. He thinks a fancy culinary degree is better training than a childhood spent in Sae's kitchen. He's an idiot."

"You bake?" She inquired skeptically. At his nod, she gave a rueful headshake and turned her attention back to her breakfast.

"Does that surprise you?"

She took another bite of her eggs and toast, chewing slowly as she mulled it over. "You paint. You bake. You apparently like fresh air when you sleep because the balcony door was opened at some point last night." She poured a cup of tea from the steaming pot that had accompanied the tray, took a quick sip and shuddered. "You don't take sugar in your tea, do you?" He chuckled and shook his head, watching with some amusement as she tore open three packets of sweetener and dumped the contents into her cup.

"I'm not that hard to figure out if you take the time to look," he observed. "Most people don't or only care that I'm somewhat well-known. It's fleeting and foolish but they focus on the fame and not on me. I hate it but I also take a strange sort of comfort in it. As I said, they see what they want to. The rest, I keep for myself."

"That must be a horrible way to live," Katniss muttered around a mouthful of bacon that she quickly washed down with a gulp of tea. "How can you stand being in a fishbowl and never getting a moment to yourself?"

"I bake," he laughed. "I paint. I read. I seek out people whose company I enjoy like you, like Chaff. I enjoy simple things, Katniss. They're what keep me going when the rest of it becomes too much." She rounded the table and slid into his lap before the last word left his lips. Her arms wound around his neck as she eagerly covered his gaping mouth. Shock and surprise on his part soon gave way to soft touches and sighs as their mouths melded. After an interminable moment, he pulled away and gave her a fond, questioning look. "What was that for, love?"

Pink cheeks didn't suit her in her opinion. It seemed that he didn't agree for he found it difficult to look away, which only served to make her even more embarrassed. "I…uh….I just wanted to," she confided brusquely. "I didn't mean to…" She tugged futilely at the arm twined around her, holding her firmly in place. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that. Let me go."

He confounded her by tightening and not loosening his arms. He pulled her flush against him and kissed the tip of her nose. "You should have and you did. Don't apologize for it." He grinned up at her, ignoring the scowl that narrowed her gaze and creased her brow. "We're in love. You can kiss me anytime you want."

"We only have until tomorrow night," Katniss said inaudibly. Tomorrow. The ship would dock and Gale would be waiting. Real life as she knew it would be waiting. It made her want to weep. She didn't realize that she was until he brushed the wetness away with his fingers.

"I meant what I said," he said fiercely. "As soon as we dock, I'm going to break it off with Madge. I can't and won't live a lie, not anymore. I won't let this go. I can't."

"I can't be the reason for you walking away, Peeta." She dropped her head, avoiding his suspicious look. "Surely you know what they'll do if you leave her and come running straight to me. They'll crucify us. We'll never have a minute's peace. I'll just be a warm body that you passed the time with on the crossing. They'll never believe that you would leave Madge Undersee for me, for Katniss Everdeen." Tears turned her gray eyes into diamond bright shards that cut him to the bone as he saw the pain and realization reflected there. "I'm nothing special. Why would you leave someone like her for someone like me? It doesn't make sense."

"Katniss," he breathed out angrily. "You…God, Katniss. How can I make you understand the effect you have? She doesn't compare to you. Nothing and no one compares to you. For me, you're perfect. "

A slight smile tugged at the corners of her mouth. She slapped him playfully on the shoulder but her eyes were still serious, still dull with what he could only call sadness and resignation. "It's too soon, Peeta. It's too soon."

He blew out a breath, disagreement clear in the taut lines of his face. "How long?" He finally asked. Katniss cocked her head, eyes narrowed quizzically. "How much time has to pass before you consider it acceptable for us to be together? How long do you want me to wait? Six months? A year? How long, Katniss?"

She folded her arms protectively across her chest, hugging herself tightly to keep the tremors at bay. She wanted to say that they didn't, shouldn't have to wait but knew deep down it was inevitable that they would be separated as soon as the ship docked. An arbitrary time line wouldn't change that. It was grasping at straws, a thin thread of hope that there was a way out of this mad tangle and that everything would work out in the end. It was a beautiful dream that couldn't exist in the pitiless light of day. Katniss drew in a shuddering breath and opened her mouth to tell him it was done. Instead, she was startled to hear herself say, "Six months. We'll meet in six months. That will give the talk time to die down. It will be old news then. It will give me time to get things straight with Gale. I owe him an explanation if nothing else."

Peeta stiffened at the name. He asked mildly, "Will he be there tomorrow? At the dock, I mean. Will he be there to greet you?"

"Of course he will," Katniss stated. "He'll be there for me just as she will be there for you."

"And what will you tell him, Katniss?"

She smiled sadly, the leaden look in her eyes growing more pronounced. "I'll tell him no," she said simply.

He let out the breath he'd been holding, a relieved smile breaking like dawn across his face. "Six months. Okay. We'll meet six months after docking. It's a date."

She gnawed on her bottom lip, studying his expression closely. Whatever she found seemed to satisfy her because she relaxed and let him pull her back into his arms. "In the meantime," he mumbled into her hair. "We've still got today. I want to spend every minute of it with you. Let's stay here. Can we do that?"

She braced her chin on his shoulder and tightened her arms around his neck. "I'll allow it."

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxxo xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

The lights of the city gleamed like jewels against velvet backdrop of water and sky. As the Rosamund lumbered into her assigned dock, the deck became a swarm of activity as the crew hurried to their last minute tasks before the passengers disembarked.

Katniss stood with suitcase in hand, eyes scanning the throng for a glimpse, just one more before they went their separate ways. She couldn't find him. Disappointment and embarrassment writhed in her belly. She turned away and put her battered leather satchel over her shoulder. Time to get back to the real world and deal with the repercussions of her actions. Four days had changed everything. A playful tug on her braid made her lift her head. Warm blue eyes and a lopsided smile were there to greet her. "Hi," she breathed. "I wondered where you were."

"Afraid I would leave without saying goodbye," he said teasingly.

"Something like that," Katniss muttered, rubbing the back of her neck. "I just…" Her voice trailed off as she bent over her bag once more. "I guess I'll see you when I see you."

He lifted her chin until their eyes locked eyes heavy with meaning. "You will see me. I'm telling Madge that it's over and then I'm coming to you. I meant it when I said always. I'm in love with you, Katniss. My heart is yours."

She gulped back tears, afraid that they would be noticed even in the teeming mass that cluttered the deck. "I love you too," she whispered. He whirled toward her in surprise, his smile, wide and clear, reached all the way to those sky blue eyes. She forgot where they were and stepped toward him, arms already lifting to coil about his neck. At the last second, she remembered and stopped, choosing instead to grab his closest hand. Their fingers wound tightly together for an instant before letting go.

Katniss distracted herself by shouldering her satchel once again and picking up her suitcase. She glanced toward Peeta and found his gaze trained on the dock. A group of people stood behind a barricade, many bouncing impatiently on the balls of their feet. She followed his look and saw a pretty blond woman standing a short distance from the others. She was lovely in every sense of the word with ashy blond hair that brushed the collar of her brilliant pink jacket. A black beret sat at a jaunty angle on her head, a perfect match for the supple leather of her shoulder bag and ankle boots. Even from this distance, Katniss could see the throng of reporters queuing for a picture of the beauty as she watched the ship bearing her beloved make its slow way into the dock. The woman preened under the attention and touched her fingers to her lips before blowing a kiss in the ship's direction.

Unable to bear looking at her any longer, Katniss swept the mass of faces until a familiar one caught her eye. The tall figure was just as impressive as Madge Undersee, but for entirely different reasons. Gale Hawthorne was a man who knew his worth and didn't let the opinions of others sway him. His immaculate charcoal suit looked fresh from the cleaners and his shoes didn't have a speck of dust marring their sheen despite being on a muddy quay. Katniss knew the instant he'd spotted her. A rare smile showed a flash of white teeth as he lifted his hand in an acknowledging wave before clasping them behind him. Katniss waved back, managing a weak smile to go with it. She heard an irritated grunt and gave Peeta a narrowed look to convey her displeasure. He had no reason to be upset. It was only a wave after all, not a kiss.

In just a short time, the big ship was safely in its slip and tied securely to the dock. The ramps extended and the unloading began. Without a backwards glance, Katniss walked ashore and straight into Gale's open arms. He hugged her close for a moment before stepping back and holding her at arm's length as he looked her over. "The trip agreed with you, my dear. You look wonderful." His smile turned rueful at the sight of the bag over her shoulder and the suitcase by her feet. "Still haven't learned to let others do their job though. Really, Katniss, the porters are paid to take care of your bags. Why would you haul them about?"

She shrugged and gave him an unconsciously defiant look. "It was quicker to get them myself. You know I don't like people running after me when I can just as easily take care of it on my own."

"I know," Gale laughed indulgently. "I know very well how stubborn you are. Still, my dear, you have to let people do the job they're paid to do whether you can do it on your own. That's the way of the world."

"I don't like it," she muttered. Gale's brows rose in surprise at her sullen tone. "Well, I don't."

"You don't have to like it, Katniss," He remarked before taking her case from her and heading for the car park. "You just have to accept it. Come. I've booked us a table at half past. We should make it easily if we leave now."

Katniss didn't argue, didn't remind him that she was exhausted from the long trip. It wouldn't alter his plans one jot. She paused for a moment to readjust her coat and the strap of her shoulder bag. Her eyes darted around the dock before locking on the crowd still clustered around the barrier. She could just make out the black beret amid the sea of chattering reporters and the lightning strikes of flashbulbs as photographers recorded every second of the star-crossed pair's reunion. Her eyes met his across the dock and before she could stop herself, she mouthed, "I love you" in his direction. The half-smile that blossomed on his face let her know he'd seen and understood. She turned away and made a line for the Gale and the waiting car. Her heart beat heavy and sluggish in her chest as each step took her farther from him. "Six months, Katniss," she hissed angrily. "It's only six months."

After that, they had always and nothing would ever separate them again.

End Part 4

Notes: Translation... "I love you, my darling. My heart is yours. I am yours and you are mine, Katniss."


	5. Porto Il Tuo Cuore Con Me (I Carry Your Heart With Me)

Chapter 5: Porto Il Tuo Cuore Con Me (I Carry Your Heart With Me)

"Love is of all passions the strongest, for it attacks simultaneously the head, the heart, and the senses."Lao Tzu

The lights and sounds of the city blended into a cacophony that she was only partially aware of. The taxi glided through crowded streets, taking them away from the harbor and him. She managed to smile and nod in all the appropriate places as Gale waxed eloquent about his latest business deal but her mind was elsewhere. His eyes, his smile, his hands. The way he made her feel. The inherent sweetness and steadiness that his refined exterior couldn't completely conceal. Try as she might, she kept circling back to their time together, reliving and remembering. Was it possible to miss someone you'd only just left moments before?

"Where did you go?" Gale lightly touched her knee, bringing her abruptly back to the present. "I asked what you'd like to do after dinner. We have plans to make and very little time to bring them to fruition."

Katniss gave him a quizzical look. Clearly she'd missed an important part of the conversation. "Plans? Forgive me, Gale, but what are you talking about?"

She heard his quiet sigh and saw the slight head shake he gave before turning to face her fully. "I said now that you're back, we can finalize our plans. We have a lot to do. I'd like to set the date for late summer. It will be difficult but, if we get the smaller stuff out of the way now, I think we can manage."

Katniss felt the knot in her stomach twist tighter as his meaning sank in. Marriage. He was talking about dresses and china patterns and she hadn't said yes yet. He took it for granted that she would follow his lead without question as she always had. Her brief flicker of anger waned and then died. Of course he took it for granted. Why wouldn't he?

He noted her dismayed expression and an odd look of contrition blossomed in the wake of ruddy cheeks and a frustrated hand raked through his hair. "I'm sorry, Katniss. You must be exhausted and I'm rushing you into a planning session before you've even had a chance to settle. Forgive me. We can go home instead. You need a quiet night in to recuperate. We can talk about it tomorrow when you're fresh." He leaned forward and gave the driver a new address.

Katniss relaxed into the cushioned seat and closed her eyes gratefully. Home sounded like a heavenly proposition after the emotional upheaval of the day. The dull throb of the motor and the muted sounds of the city soothed her. She leaned her head against the seat and let her thoughts wander until the cab stopped before her building. Gale exited first and extended a hand to help her find her footing. He then grabbed the larger of her cases and together, they made their way into the foyer of the converted brownstone.

Katniss took in the quaint architecture and period details of the entryway. She'd chosen the building mainly for its rustic charm and quiet beauty. Gale preferred the high rises with their sleekly modern design and conveniences. Katniss admitted that his apartment was beautiful and well-situated. She preferred the subtle simplicity of hers, having fallen in love with arched stained glass windows and exposed brick. Her loft apartment was smaller and not close to trendy bars and shows that Gale liked to frequent. What it lacked in panache, it made up for in character and comfort. She loved its odd nooks and crannies and the wide plank hardwood floor was exquisite once it had been refinished. She laughed to herself at Gale's moue of distaste when she unlocked the front door and stood aside to let him pass. While her apartment was far from shabby, it wasn't what he was used to.

"Just leave them there," she directed as he moved toward the bedroom with her suitcase in hand. "I'll sort them out later. Why don't you pour a drink and I'll order some takeout for dinner. I don't feel like cooking." Gale shrugged and put the case in the coat closet, nudging the door with his foot to make sure it latched.

"Why don't you go freshen up and I'll call for dinner," he coaxed. "Have a nice, long soak and when you come out, our food will be here." She nodded her thanks and grabbed the smaller case containing her toiletries before retreating to the ensuite at the back of the apartment. She heard the low murmur of the TV and then his voice as his call connected.

She lowered herself into steaming, fragrant water and closed her eyes. Knotted muscles slowly loosened and the warmth of the water seeped in, relaxing her mind along with her body. She climbed out just as the doorbell chimed the arrival of their dinner. Wrapping her hair in a fluffy towel, she slid her arms into a thick robe before making her way back to the main room. The delicious scent of warm bread and slow cooked meat greeted her, making her stomach growl appreciatively. "What did you get?" She asked curiously.

Gale looked up from unloading the boxes and bags and gave her a crooked grin. "I thought you might like the new bakery/deli that opened up a few blocks over. Your neighbor raved about the food the last time I was here."

Katniss picked up a carton containing chunky potato salad and turned it to look at the stylized logo on the side. "Where in the world did they get that name?" She chuckled. "The Hob Bakery and Deli, it sounds like a flea market or something, not an eatery."

Gale huffed out a laugh and finished parceling out the food. "Really, Katniss, a flea market." He shook his head and gestured for her to sit down. "I think it is located in a refurbished warehouse so it could have been a flea market or something in its heyday. Try it first before you write them off."

Katniss eyed the towering sandwich on her plate, her stomach irritably protesting that she was looking instead of eating. Marble rye mounded with slices of warm corned beef topped with Thousand Island dressing, Swiss cheese and sauerkraut took up half the available space. A generous serving of potato salad and a deli pickle rounded out the meal. "This looks wonderful. Thank you," she murmured before taking an unladylike bite of her Reuben. It tasted as good as it smelled, and she eagerly finished off half the portion before turning her attention to the rest of her dinner. "I hope you got a menu," she declared. "I think this just became my favorite place to eat in the neighborhood."

Gale gestured to the flyer lying forgotten amid the bags and boxes. "They sent a few copies so you can look it over at your leisure. I'm glad you like it." He watched her wolf down the bulk of the potato salad and laughed. "Didn't they feed you on the boat? I feel like I should call the company and lodge a complaint. I don't think I've ever seen you so ravenous."

Katniss chewed hurriedly and swallowed before replying, "It must be the sea air and finally coming home. The meals were wonderful, Gale. I'm sure you've heard of Chaff Bellamy." Gale's brow furrowed before he made the connection to one of his favorite restaurants uptown. He nodded, and gestured for her to continue. "He was onboard the Rosamund for this crossing. I believe he intended to use the passengers as a captive audience to test out his new recipes. He even used katniss in his lampughe dish."

"That's actually brilliant," Gale chortled. "He gets immediate feedback and can also try out different seasonal ingredients depending on where the ship docks. No wonder he's made such a name for himself as both a chef and entrepreneur." He waited until she finished the last few bites of her sandwich before picking up a covered tray and tipping his head toward the couch. "I asked them to send over an assortment of pastries. I didn't know what you'd like. Let's take our coffee on the couch and relax for a bit."

Curious, she stacked their plates to be gathered up later and loaded into the dishwasher before following him to the couch. He picked a channel at random and tossed the remote on the coffee table. Katniss snagged a roll toasted to a honeyed brown and sniffed appreciatively before taking a bite. The sharp tang of cheese combined with yeasty soft bread exploded on her tongue, drawing a sigh from her. Gale smirked before popping the final bite of an éclair into his mouth. "Whatever these cheese things are, order a dozen of them next time." Katniss mumbled around a mouthful of bread. "They are sinful."

Gale opened his mouth to reply but was cut off from a sudden blast of music from the television. Both of them turned toward the screen just in time to see Caesar Flickerman's toothpaste grin beaming at the camera. "Good evening, Big Apple. Thank you for joining us. I'm your host, Caesar Flickerman. We have a very special show for you tonight on Capital Connection. Straight from City Hall, we have our very own Madge Undersee along with her handsome husband-to-be, Peeta Mellark." Katniss froze as the scene broadened to include two very familiar faces on a love seat adjacent to Caesar's tufted armchair.

Madge smiled demurely and politely inclined her head to acknowledge the applause from the studio barely registered the gesture as her eyes locked firmly on the blonde man sitting by her side. Her eyes roved every inch of him, cataloging and memorizing the wayward curls falling over his forehead, the Wedgewood blue eyes, and the indifferent slouch. He looked bored with the spectacle. Indeed, only someone intimately familiar with his mannerisms could pick out the signs of annoyance.

She felt a smile tug her lips up at the sight of his thumb tapping rhythmically against his opposite hand. He did the same thing whenever a group of admirers cornered him aboard the Rosamund, pelting him with questions. He was too polite to be outright rude to anyone but the telltale signs gave him away to those that paid attention. Katniss paid attention and, to her eyes, he looked absolutely furious.

Caesar flashed another trademark smile for the camera and dove right in. "Well, I must say that I'm delighted to see both of you. It's most generous of you to spend your evening with us after having been apart for so long. I'm sure that our viewers appreciate it as well, don't you folks?" The studio audience dutifully applauded on cue, causing Caesar to beam like a proud parent. "Let's start with you, Peeta. You've just returned from an extended visit overseas. Tell me; were you anxious to return to New York and to this lovely lady?"

Peeta gifted him with a cheap copy of his sun bright grin. "It's always good to be home," he answered noncommittally. "I enjoyed my time away, spent some time with an old family friend and made some new ones. Overall, I'd say that the trip surpassed my expectations in every way, Caesar."

Madge laid a pink-tipped hand on his sleeve and playfully interjected, "He's just being coy, Caesar. Of course he's glad to be home. Peeta has often told me there's no place in the world he'd rather be than New York."

Caesar's practiced chuckle reverberated around the studio, amplified by the discreet mike tucked into the lapel of his electric blue suit. "Who could resist hurrying home when they have something as lovely as you waiting for them, my dear?" A becoming blush tinted her cheeks as Madge leaned toward the wily host and fondly patted his knee. "Your upcoming wedding is the talk of the town. Don't keep us in suspense. When is the big, big day?"

Madge opened her mouth but Peeta spoke quickly into the pregnant pause, "In six months." Madge rounded on him in surprise but recovered admirably. She nodded, smiling at the burst of applause that greeted the announcement.

Caesar smiled broadly but the furrow cutting a line in his brow gave him away. Clearly, he had expected a different response. "Six months," he repeated jovially. "That's wonderful. I'm sure our audience will join me in extending our best wishes for a long and happy life. Tell me, Peeta, what led to that time frame?"

For the first time, Peeta seemed uncomfortable. He shifted against the plump cushions and stared at his hands before answering. "This trip allowed me the luxury of time to put things in perspective, Caesar. Marriage is a big step in any man's life. I've always said that when and if I marry, it will be for keeps. Every detail will be perfect. My future wife deserves no less. I think six months is an adequate timeframe to get everything in order."

Caesar clapped enthusiastically as Madge leaned her head on Peeta's shoulder and squeezed his hand. Peeta's answering smile didn't quite reach his eyes but it went unnoticed; unnoticed by all but the gray eyed girl staring at the screen while blinking back tears, a tremulous smile teetering on the edges of her mouth. A throat being harshly cleared pulled her eyes away from the television to rest guiltily on the man sitting next to her.

"I didn't know you were interested in fairy tale romances, Katniss," Gale remarked pointedly. A ruddy flush ascended to her hairline, drawing his curious gaze. "Is this a new pastime that you picked up on your trip?" When she remained silent, he turned to face her fully. "Mellark was on the Rosamund, was he not? Did you meet him?"

Katniss swallowed noisily but held his gaze unflinching. "We exchanged pleasantries, Gale. He was seated beside me at the Captain's table. It would have been rude to ignore him."

"You exchanged pleasantries," he parroted. "I don't remember you ever being so attentive to manners before. I'm shocked that you deigned to speak with him considering your dislike of crowds and scenes. This fellow must be something to rate such a reaction from you." A fiery blush suffused her cheeks, made even more apparent by the way she avoided his searching gaze. He reached for her hand only to have her pull away. "You haven't been yourself since you got back. Something's different." He eyed her appraisingly. "You've never been shy about letting me know where we stand, Katniss. Please give me the same courtesy now."

Katniss turned on him furiously, gray eyes a lightning laced sky. "What the hell are you implying, Gale? If you have something to ask me, spit it out."

"Why won't you let me touch you?" He demanded. "Why won't you look me in the eye?" He suddenly fell silent, causing her to turn worriedly in his direction. "Is words all you exchanged with Mellark, Katniss?" It came as a heartbroken whisper instead of the furious outburst she was expecting. She wilted before his obvious upset. Hurting Gale was never her intention. She didn't want it to come out like this. "Tell me the truth," Gale said softly. "What happened with you and Peeta Mellark?"

Her heart lodged itself in her throat, closing off any and all attempts to reply. She met him look for look, her mind racing for a way to soften the blow. Katniss finally decided to just say it straight out. Holding back would only cause him more pain and he'd been too good to her for her to bring about undo hurt. "I fell in love with him. I didn't mean for it to happen. There's no rhyme or reason to it, Gale. He crept up on me."

Gale's eyes bulged at her stark pronouncement. He rubbed a hand furiously through his hair, meeting her apologetic gaze. "You love him," he repeated tonelessly. "You love him and you think he loves you. Have you lost your mind, Catnip? A man like that."

She squared her shoulders and tilted her chin proudly. "Yes, I love him and he loves me. You don't know him, Gale. He's not what the papers and television make him out to be." She drew a deep breath in and let it out slowly. "I can't explain it but it's real. I want it and I want to be with him." Katniss bit her lip as she reached for and clasped his hand between hers. "You've been a good friend and the only thing that kept me going for a long time. I owe you everything." Tears roughened her voice but she plowed on. "You deserve to be loved by someone who appreciates how good a man you are, Gale. I'm sorry I can't be her. For a long time, I wanted to be and I tried to be but I couldn't. We both knew it a long time ago but we couldn't face it." She placed a featherlike kiss on the fleshy mound below his thumb. "You can't settle for less. I won't allow it."

His thumb stroked her cheek softly as he turned her words over. He flicked a glance at the screen where Caesar bid his guests good-bye. Peeta stood stiffly as Madge accepted a dry peck on the cheek from the effervescent host. He smiled tightly as he took the man's proffered hand and nodded his thanks. "You would have turned me down regardless, wouldn't you?" Gale queried. She nodded imperceptibly but he saw it and let out a grunt by way of reply. "He doesn't deserve you, Katniss. You're risking it all on a maybe. How can you be sure that you won't crash and burn?"

Her eyes strayed to the screen where the blond figure could be seen ducking out of sight behind a crushed velvet curtain. "I can't be sure of anything, Gale. I may fall and I might get hurt but I have to try. I need to know that it can be good no matter what, and he's the one that can give me that. I love him and that's all I need."

Gale rose to his feet and gathered her close. He pressed a tender kiss to her temple and she relaxed against him, breathing in the familiar scent of leather and pine. "I'll always be here if you need me," he murmured.

She closed her eyes against the sudden burn of tears and pressed her face into the smooth silk of his shirt. "I know you will," she whispered.

He let her go and walked out the door without a backwards glance. Katniss waited until the door clicked shut before giving in to tears, pressed like floodwaters at the back of her eyes. She knew Gake was hurting and ached because of it. "Peeta," his name fell from her lips like a prayer. "Don't forget me."

Xooxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox oxoxoxoxxooxxoxxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

The car door slammed shut with a muffled clang as he pulled on it harder than necessary. Peeta eyed the petite blonde sitting beside him, taking in her narrowed eyes and thin, pursed lips. As soon as the engine jolted to life, Madge whirled to face him. "Six months, Peeta," she spat furiously. "Six fucking months. What the hell was that supposed to mean?"

He kept a level tone as he answered, "It means that I plan to be married six months from now, Madge. I thought it was self-explanatory."

Her eyes widened and her hand twitched in her lap as she stared at him in disbelief. "Mother and I booked the main chapel of the church for two months from today. Effie Trinket, our wedding planner, assures me that we can have everything done by then. Mother wants the ceremony to take place as quickly as possible, Peeta. She's going to be livid when she hears about this cracked brain notion of waiting six months. For God's sake, what has gotten into you?"

Peeta smiled and leaned his head back, closing his eyes and breathing deeply. "I don't care about what your mother wants or Effie Trinket says can be done. I'm done living my life according to everybody else's expectations." He opened his eyes and gave her a probing look. "Stop and think for a moment, Madge. Is this what you want? Is this the life that you dreamed about when you were a little girl? Am I the Prince Charming that you wanted to carry you away?" He leaned toward her, elbows resting on his bent knees. "Think about it and answer me truthfully."

She opened her mouth, tilted her head thoughtfully, and then closed it again. She turned her head to look out the window at the passing cityscape. She glanced at him from the corner of her eye. "No," she confided quietly. "I didn't imagine this. I thought that I'd meet a nice guy who would think I was a nice girl. We'd get to know each other and fall in love. Then when the time was right, he'd ask me and I'd say yes. It didn't happen that way with us, did it? We just sort of fell together and never stopped to wonder if it was right."

He let out a relieved sigh at her confession. "No," he answered somberly. "We went along with it because we didn't have anything better to do at the time. Your mother pushed it and I allowed it to happen. We should have known something was wrong when I didn't give you a ring, Madge. Didn't you ever wonder why?"

She shook her head, "You were raised by an Italian housekeeper, Peeta. I attributed it to something Sae taught you as a child and didn't let it bother me. I knew something was wrong but I told myself that it would work out in the end." She smiled tightly. "I didn't expect this."

"A lot changed on this trip, Madge. I didn't expect this either but I'm glad that it happened. It opened my eyes to what I've missed." He covered her folded hands with his own. "I would never deliberately hurt you. You know that, right?" She nodded and turned her hands over to twine their fingers together. "If we were to marry, I'd want it to be for the right reasons and not because we're expected to do so to fulfill someone else's expectations."

Madge gasped in realization, her blue eyes widening in surprise. "She's a lucky girl whoever she is," she said softly.

Peeta's jaw dropped before he caught himself. "What girl is that?"

She elbowed him in the ribs, laughing at his exaggerated wince of pain. "The girl that's laid claim to your heart, Mellark. It's written all over you. I don't know why I didn't see it before. You're different."

"Am I?" He mused softly. "I suppose I am. She has an effect even though she's completely unaware of it."

Madge smirked at his unintentional confirmation. "Does she now? When you make an honest woman of her, you must introduce us. Any woman who can make you stare off into space with that goofy expression must be special."

Peeta laughed freely for the first time since the Rosamund docked."You're a brat, you know. I'm not staring off into space regardless of what you say. As for meeting her, you can do that in six months when I bring her home." He laughed again as her mouth fell open in surprise.

"You're really going to wait six months, Peeta. Why?"

He shrugged and let a smile play about his lips as he answered, "Because she needs the time to decide if I'm really what she wants. I'd marry her today if that were possible. She needs to settle things in her own mind first. I told her six months so that's what I'm going to give her."

The car stopped before the vaulted gates leading to the Mayor's residence. Madge rapped on the divider and slid out as the car came to a stop. She bent at the waist and gave Peeta a smile. "Fair enough."

He caught her hand and tugged her down for a chaste kiss. "Will you be okay?" He questioned.

She flashed a winsome smile, pushing his bangs away from his eyes. "Not immediately. Maybe not for a while." She laughed softly at his dismayed expression and shook her head. "Don't worry, Peeta, it's my pride that dented and not my heart. It's not everyday that you're told by the man you thought you were going to marry that he loves someone else." Despite her reassuring smile, her tone laced with bitterness.

"Madge, please," Peeta pleaded.

"No," she cut him off. "Don't try to explain. Some things don't need explanation. You're following your heart, Peeta, and as much as I want to, I can't hate you for it." Her blue eyes became glassy as she gulped back tears. "I do love you even thought it's not that kind of love. I want you to be happy. You deserve to be happy."

"So do you," he said tenderly, wiping a lone tear away with his thumb. "I never meant to hurt you. That's the last thing I wanted to do."

She caught his hand and squeezed it lightly before letting go. Stepping away from the car, she tossed him a jaunty salute. "Go get your girl, Mellark. Don't worry about me. I always land on my feet."

He lifted a hand and watched until she disappeared through the gate. Peeta met the driver's questioning gaze in the mirror and nodded. As the car eased back into the crowded street, Peeta closed his eyes and breathed out slowly. That was it then. He was free.

Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxxoxoxoxoxoxo

The first month…

Katniss,

It seems silly to write when I could just as easily call. Somehow, seeing your name written on the page seems more real to me. It makes you more real. Does that make sense?

I'm sure you've heard by now that my engagement is a thing of the past. My first instinct was to run straight to you and show you how much I've missed you since we've been apart. I made you a promise, however, and I intend to keep it. We will be together again soon, my love. Until then, know that my every thought is of you.

I love you always,

Peeta

The third month…

Peeta,

My favorite color is green. Did I ever tell you that? I remember you saying that you would find it out in time. Well, I wanted to get that out-of-the-way so we can move on to more important things. My first pet's name was Lady. She was a tattered orange cat that hated the ground I walked on. She wouldn't leave and I couldn't make myself drown her as I often threatened to.

I've developed a fondness for violets. I'm sure you can figure out why.

Yours always,

Katniss

The fifth month….

Katniss,

Only a month, one short month until we're together again. I can hardly wait to see you, touch you, and kiss you until neither of us can stand.

I've begun to paint again. A friend of mine owns a gallery in Chelsea and badgers me constantly to allow him to display my work. I've refused until now because the name Peeta Mellark is still infamous in certain circles. It would be pleasant to be known for something worthwhile instead of as an object of petty gossip and idle interest.

I painted Sae's garden with you in mind. I even painted you in it. Heaven does need its angels after all.

I can't wait to see you, my darling Katniss.

Sei tutto ciò che voglio. (Yes, my love. I'll translate this for you as soon as I see you.)

Yours,

Peeta

Meeting day…..

Katniss reached for her phone as soon as the message alert sounded. The screen flared to life and words blossomed before her anxious eyes.

Empire State Building Observatory. 3pm. Love you. P

Her heart thumped heavily against her ribs as she forced her shaking fingers to type a reply.

I'll see you then. Love you too. K

Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxxooxoxoxoxoxo xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

At precisely 2:58pm, the elevator doors slid open and Katniss walked out into the highest public point in New York City. She'd been to the terrace on the 86th floor but this was her first trip to the 102nd. She walked to the windows and looked at the city spread out before her. From this height, it was a multi-hued tapestry. She shivered at the touch of cool glass against her heated flesh. A quick glance at the clock knotted her belly. Three o'clock. Crossing the gallery, she leaned against the wall, giving her an unimpeded view of the entrance. She'd see him as soon as he exited the elevator.

Sirens screamed dimly in the distance but she paid them no mind. Her gaze fixed firmly on the elevators, pulse leaping in anticipation each time the doors opened. Hours passed and he still didn't come. She checked her phone repeatedly, refreshing the screen if there was a last-minute message. The blasted thing maintained a stubborn silence.

Darkness fell. The city came alive beneath her with neon shades in every imaginable hue. She walked in circles to ease her aching legs but nothing could be done about the leaden sadness weighing on her heart. She glanced at the phone as the hours passed, growing frustrated as it stayed silent. Rain pattered against the windows, lightning chasing its tail in the clouds. Eventually, the platform emptied and the lights dimmed.

Head low and tears tracing burning lines down her cheeks, she walked to the burnished doors and stepped past the operator who gave her a sympathetic look. The last thing she saw before the doors slid shut was a single star shining brightly in the velvet dark sky.

Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxxoxoxoxoxox oxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Traffic was heavier than usual. Distance gained in fits and spurts while blasting horns announced their displeasure to the surrounding city. Peeta waited impatiently, leaning forward to peer out the front window at the needlepoint of the Empire State Building piercing the sky. Katniss was there waiting. The knowledge flowed through him like water, easing the loneliness that had grown with each passing month they'd been apart. In a few moments, he would be able to hold her, hear her laugh, see her smile.

An impulse seized him, making him throw caution to the wind. She waited while he sat in the back of a cab, waiting for a light to change. It was ridiculous that such a trivial thing could keep them apart for one minute longer than necessary. He tossed a wad of bills to the driver before climbing out the back door and slamming it behind him.

Peeta threaded his way through stalled traffic, glancing up occasionally at the reassuring bulk of the ESB a few blocks away. Just a few more minutes . He broke into a run before reining himself in. A flower vendor on the corner up ahead caught his eye. He hesitated before smiling to himself at the way her eyes would widen when she caught a glimpse of violets. Pleased at the idea, he stepped into the cross walk, hand already reaching for his wallet.

He didn't hear the roar of the bike's engine as the messenger gunned the throttle to beat the changing light. He didn't hear the horn blaring nor did he notice squealing tires as the man sought desperately to avoid the inevitable collision. He felt the force of the blow as the bike slammed into his side, folding his leg painfully with the impact. Hot metal and burning rubber assaulted his senses. His body met the pavement with a dull thud and blackness settled on him like a shroud.

End chapter 5


	6. L'altra metà di me (The Other Half of Me)

Chapter 6: L'altra metà di me (The Other Half of Me)

"For better or worse, he was my soul mate. The other half of me. In many ways, he was my reflection."― Sylvia Day, Reflected in You

One. Two. Three months passed. Time was measured not by the day of the week or the chiming of the clock. She marked it by how much she hurt, how long it took to get out of bed in the morning, how many times she used the word fine to describe herself when asked.

She went through the motions of a normal life, only slipping at random moments when she was alone with no distractions. His name pounded in her head, sometimes a whisper, other times a throat-rending shout. She let her own fears and insecurities have free rein. Yes, she stayed on that rooftop for hours with no inkling of what happened or why he didn't come as promised. Yes, she waited for him to call, to text, to give some sign that it real and not just a pretty picture she'd painted in her head. She waited and, in the end, she had walked away and given up without a fight.

Looking back, Katniss castigated herself for her lack of faith in him and what they had built together. Her own voice chided her, "Who would leave Madge Undersee for Katniss Everdeen?" Nobody. Why would they? She wasn't anything special. She was just Katniss. Just Katniss. Her heart told her that she was wrong. Peeta would and had. He made her feel like anything was possible, him and his pretty words and blue eyes. Too good to be true and yet she'd never felt anything more real in her life. And she had walked away without a backwards glance.

Gale watched her warily, never questioning why she'd come back alone. He kept a respectful distance, offering a comforting shoulder if she should need it but nothing more. The ferocious argument just a week after the ill-conceived meeting taught them both that Peeta Mellark was a topic best left alone.

"I'm not asking what happened," Gale grated. "I'm just saying that if you don't find out the real reason he didn't come, you'll always wonder. You'll never leave that roof, Katniss."

"It's none of your damned business," she shouted. "He just didn't. That's the long and short of it. I won't chase after him, Gale. I refuse to be that girl that can't take no for an answer. He doesn't want me."

"You don't know that, Catnip," Gale admonished. "You don't know anything because you won't take the time to find out. What if it was something out of his control? What if he was on his way and got detained? You don't know what happened. You say you love the man, but you aren't fighting for him, Katniss."

She whirled on him in outraged disbelief. "What the fuck, Gale? I thought you'd be happy that he didn't show. I cut our ties without a second thought. Doesn't the fact that he cut me off just as quickly give you a bit of satisfaction? Don't I deserve it for how I treated you?"

He grabbed her by the shoulders and shook her hard. "How can you say that? Is that what you think of me?" He let her go and paced away, running a hand roughly through his hair. He glanced at her, his mouth pressed into a thin, white line. "I care about you. I've always cared about you." He crossed his arms and gave her a measuring look. "I'm not saying it didn't hurt when you announced that you had fallen for Mellark. I hated him. I didn't think that he was good enough for you but he seemed to make you happy. That was enough, Katniss." He shifted foot to foot and blew out a breath before continuing, "You're not a quitter. You never have been. I believe, and I still do, that if you truly want something then there is nothing on Earth that will keep you from it." Gale gave her a flint edged look. "Nothing but you."

"You said it yourself," she whispered. "A man like him. When I told you I'd fallen for him, you couldn't believe it. I saw it in your face. Peeta Mellark is a man known for his conquests. How could I be so stupid? " Her snort of laughter held more than a touch of tears. "You're right and I know it. I should have called, texted, even run through the streets shouting." Her eyes flooded and overflowed as her voice broke on a sob. "I did call once, Gale. I told myself that there could be a million reasons why he didn't do as he promised. I reached out even though everything in me told me not to. Better to know then always wonder, right? I got no answer, nothing so I didn't try again. I could have demanded an explanation. I could have made a dozen calls or shown up on his doorstep. I could have done so many things differently except that I was afraid. What if he did have second thoughts? What if all the letters and promises were a lie, a way to keep me on the hook until a better prospect came along? It's easy to profess undying love when you're not looking the person in the eye. Maybe he knew he couldn't pretend anymore. That's the truth that I can't bring myself to face.

Gale shook his head sadly. "Then you're a coward," he said harshly. "You're stuck on may be and might be instead of looking at what's real. I never thought I'd say it but Mellark deserves a chance to tell his side of it and you deserve to know what the hell happened. Call him, knock on his door, or throw rocks at his window. Do whatever it takes but don't sit here in limbo."

"I can't," she said slowly and distinctly. "I won't."

Gale gritted his teeth audibly, and left without a backward glance. Katniss stared after him in open-mouthed wonder as the door slammed shut behind him.

Gale was oddly quiet when she answered her front bell on a sun drenched afternoon three months after that fight. She smiled warmly and gestured for him to enter. As he walked past, a sheaf of papers fluttered aimlessly in his clenched hand. "What's that?" She inquired as she shut the door.

Gale stopped just inside the doorway and looked at her somberly. "Just some stuff I picked up today. I thought you might be interested in it." She reached for the bundle but stayed the motion as he tucked his arm behind his back. "There's an art show tonight at one of the galleries in Chelsea. I thought you might enjoy it. We have a few hours before it begins. Why don't you grab whatever you need and we'll have an early dinner beforehand."

"An art show?" Her brow furrowed in confusion as her gaze darted to the packet he held against his chest. "I didn't know you liked that sort of thing." She pulled her braid over her shoulder, fingers running aimlessly along the length and tucking loose strands into the coils.

"You don't know everything about me, Catnip," Gale declared. "Besides, this is something for you, not me. You haven't been out on the town in months. One night of relaxation is all I'm asking for. Humor me and go get your stuff. I think you'll enjoy yourself."

Katniss shrugged and made her way down the hall. She was back in minutes, a dark wool skirt replacing her worn jeans and hair neatly pinned into a sleek figure eight at the back of her head. She quirked an eyebrow at his surprised expression and commented sourly, "What? Even I know these things aren't that casual. Let's go then. I'm curious to see what kind of art you think would piqué my interest." She glanced around, noting the missing leaflets. "I don't even get a sneak peek."

"Nope," he thrust his hands deeply into the pocket of his coat and smirked at her disgruntled expression. "Sorry not sorry. The people who know about this sort of stuff say it's best to see them up close and personal. The photos apparently don't do them justice. You can wait a bit longer."

"Fine," she groused. "It will be your fault and not mine if I hate it. Art isn't exactly my forte, Gale."

He didn't answer until they were climbing into a cab. She didn't catch the name he gave the driver but did make out 26th Street. "All the way over there," she asked incredulously. "Gale, that's halfway across town."

He shrugged, "There's some good restaurants close by. We'll pick one and then walk down to the gallery. How do you feel about Italian?"

"Okay," she reluctantly gave in turned her head to watch the city flow by. The lowering sun tinted the building a ruddy gold. She closed her eyes as a memory washed over her, his voice soft and warm in her ear as he confided sunset orange was his favorite. The creamsicle sky mocked her. She shook her head roughly and forced her gaze down to the glass and steel structures. She dimly heard Gale ask if everything was alright. She smiled and nodded but didn't move her gaze from the window. She knew her eyes were a molten mix of pain and tears and would give her away in an instant if he saw. "Yes, everything is fine," she voiced. "Italian food sounds great." The rest of the ride passed in silence.

Dinner was in a rustic, charming place that held aching reminders of Villefranche-sur-Mer. She ate her food mechanically, eyes firmly fixed on Gale or on the red-checked tablecloth. The flowers, the yellow stonework walls, the tinkling fountain in the corner. It was too much, too soon. Gale watched her carefully but didn't comment. He gestured for the bill and led her out as soon as he'd signed his name and retrieved his card. His hand in the small of her back felt comforting and not possessive. She let herself soak up his quiet strength for a few moments before straightening her shoulders. "Where are we going?" She asked lightly.

"It's a smallish gallery in the same building as Mixed Greens." Gale answered. "It's relatively new but already has a reputation for finding undiscovered talent. The artist featured in tonight's show is one of their finds."

The building's quirky façade made her smile, gaining a returning one from Gale. She led the way into the dimly lit interior, handed her coat to a smiling attendant and let Gale take her arm before they entered the gallery proper. Her breath caught at the simple, elegant room. "Not what you expected," Gale asked. Katniss shook her head wordlessly. "Come on," he urged. "Let's look around. I'm curious to see what all the fuss is about."

The paintings were hung in small groupings, artfully lit to show them at their best. They ranged in subject from simple depictions of flowers to a stunning portrait of a girl gazing coyly over her shoulder at the viewer from a park bench. Her blonde hair hung prettily down her back while her iris blue eyes twinkled as if holding in a secret that she was bursting to tell. A small plaque beneath the painting read simply, "Primrose." Katniss stood before it in silence for a full minute before turning to Gale with a grin. "I don't get it," she stated. "What does that have to do with a primrose? It's a shrub."

"Maybe it has to do with her hair or eyes," Gale ventured. "They can range from yellow to purple. Who knows?"

A smooth, modulated voice broke into their conversation. "Maybe it's the subject's name?"

Katniss jumped at the abrupt intrusion. She spun toward the speaker, mouth opening to deliver a tongue lashing. She bit off her stinging words, seeing his raised brows and quizzical smile. "Is it?" She asked instead.

The mysterious stranger chuckled softly before he responded, "No. It's not but that seemed as good a reason as any for the name." He extended a hand and she took it without thinking. "Welcome to the Capital Gallery. I'm Cinna De Coeur. Thank you for coming in this evening."

She smiled shyly back and muttered, "Katniss Everdeen. It's nice to meet you."

Cinna patted her hand before letting it go and turned to Gale. After they'd exchanged greetings, Gale waved a hand to encompass the entire room. "This is quite a display. Are all of these by the same artist? They're very different."

Cinna nodded appreciatively, "You have a good natural eye. They are indeed by the same artist but done at different times. He's evolved a bit from his early years. He actually gave up painting for a while but I managed to entice him back. Stephen Benivieni will be a revolutionary artist."

Something about the name sounded familiar to Katniss but she couldn't put her finger on it. She wandered away from the two men to look at the next series of paintings. A pond edged with cattails and reeds sparkled in the afternoon sun. A wrought iron gate guarding a mass of red-hued blossoms. A bench surrounded by an ocean of flowers, white to deepest violet. Her breath caught in her throat. She knew that place. She'd stood behind the bench, hand resting limply on its weathered back as she gazed out on a place that was as close to Heaven as it was possible to be. She covered her mouth with a shaking hand as her eager gaze found the last in the series. A wild wonderland of grass and flowers dancing in the wind…an untamed meadow surrounded by immaculately tended grounds. Her eyes left the painting to sweep the gallery. Surely, he was here. This couldn't be coincidence. That was Sae's garden, painted by Peeta's hand. She knew it like she knew her own name.

Cinna and Gale caught up to her just as Cinna answered, "No, I'm afraid the artist isn't here this evening. He prefers to avoid crowds." Disappointment burned in her like wildfire. He wasn't here and he wasn't going to be. She dropped her eyes to the floor to conceal her dismay. A gentle hand clasped her elbow, causing her to look up warily. "You seem very interested in the garden series, Miss Everdeen. Might I ask what about them intrigues you so."

She swallowed noisily but managed to whisper. "They remind me of a place I visited recently. It was very beautiful there and there is a remarkable similarity."

"If it wouldn't be an inconvenience, would you like to see the last painting from that series? It's not part of the show because Mr. Benivieni doesn't wish to sell it. I think, in this case, he would like for you to view it. You will appreciate it, I think." She nodded wordlessly, looking for Gale to let him know where she'd be. Cinna announced, "My assistant, Portia, will take good care of Mr. Hawthorne. He won't miss you. Come, my dear. I find myself very curious about what you will think of the painting."

He led her down a short hallway and stopped before an unassuming door. Katniss watched as he punched in a code and then slid the door open. She shivered as the cool air pebbled her skin. "I'm sorry," Cinna apologized. "I should have warned you or sent someone to collect your coat. We keep the storage rooms cool to protect the paintings. It's also humidity controlled and the light is carefully adjusted so the paintings aren't compromised." He shrugged out of his jacket and draped it over her shoulders. "That will have to suffice." She slid her arms into the sleeves and pulled the front flaps tightly around her. "Warm enough?" Cinna questioned. Katniss nodded in reply and then looked around curiously. "It's over here," Cinna directed. "Please. Take all the time you need."

She approached cautiously, unsure what she was about to see. It could be anything at all: the house, the rest of the gardens, the craggy cliffs and green valleys, the blue expanse of the harbor. All these ran through her mind as she stepped closer to the shadowed painting. Cinna touched a switch, resulting in a buttery fall of light that illuminated the expanse of wall. Katniss gazed eagerly at the canvas now in full view and then recoiled painfully as the figures resolved themselves. She recalled his last letter and the mention of his painting her in Sae's garden. That was what was before her now.

The girl in the painting was beautiful in every sense of the word. Her raven black braid hung down her back, an inky line against the snowy backdrop of her blouse. Her silvery eyes were wide in wonder as she lightly caressed a velvety petal with the pads of her fingers. Her mouth quirked up at the corners, looking as if she didn't have a care in the world. Behind her, a shorter figure looked on, smiling gently from beneath a lacy shawl. Tears gathered and fell, blurring the outline of the paintings. She bit back a sob, fighting back the knot that threatened to choke her. "Where is he?" She entreated. "Is he here?"

Cinna watched her sadly and shook his head. "No, my dear. He's not here. I meant it when I said that he doesn't like crowds. He has developed a fondness for anonymity over the past few months. I rarely see him myself."

She whirled to face him, putting her back to the painting. "You knew who I was before I introduced myself." She accused. "You knew I was coming. How? Did you work this charade up with Gale to humiliate me?"

Cinna's friendly smile faded and his expression turned cold almost instantly. "I did know who you were. Peeta's mentioned you on more than one occasion. I'm afraid that you've judged both me and Mr. Hawthorne too harshly. We didn't set you up, Katniss. He brought you here to open your eyes to the truth. I agreed to show you this painting out of friendship with Peeta and my hope that you'll mend whatever happened between you. He's not happy and hasn't been for quite some time."

She gritted her teeth and tore her gaze from his to dart angrily about the room. She stared at the painting, frustration warring with longing in her face. Finally, she faced him again. "He's not the only one, Cinna. He didn't show up. I was there. I was there for hours watching and waiting for him. He didn't come. You can think whatever you want to about me but I was there. Don't fucking judge me unless you have all the facts."

"I know that he wasn't there. I also know why," he retorted bitterly. "Do you? Did you bother to find out or did you just assume you knew the reason? You could have called. You could have found out for yourself if you wanted to, but you didn't."

"I thought he didn't want me," she burst out. "We didn't see each other for months after he ended his engagement. He said he didn't want the press to label me a rebound. He wrote me and texted when he could. Then he didn't show up. What was I supposed to do?" She started pacing before him, her strides jerky and aimless. "I wasn't going to chase after him and force him to accept my love. I told him again and again how I felt. I did everything short of writing it on my forehead. He told me that he loved me and I believed him." Her arms curved protectively around her middle. "I believed him and ended up standing there for hours with nothing. I thought he didn't want me." She looked at him through tear-reddened eyes. "Why didn't he come?" She asked brokenly. "I was there. I waited. Why didn't he come?"

Cinna's expression was a curious blend of sympathy and anger. He wordlessly offered her a snowy handkerchief and waited until she'd gotten a grip on her galloping emotions before answering. "That's not for me to say," he said kindly. "If you want an answer, you're going to have to ask Peeta." Cinna nodded toward the painting and watched in undisguised interest as she moved to stand before it.

"I was happy there," she murmured. "It seemed like Heaven, something so beautiful and perfect that nothing could touch it. That was us too. We were a dream, Cinna. He made me believe in happily ever after's and always. He made it real and then it wasn't."

"I think it was," he murmured, laying a gentle hand on her shoulder. "I think it still is but it's up to you to whether you want to fight for it." He turned her to face him, watching as tears left glistening pathways on her cheeks. "You're stronger than you think you are."

She snorted, rubbing the tears away with an impatient hand. "You don't know me."

Cinna smiled, nodding amiably. "I don't but I know what I see." He gestured again toward the painting. "That girl isn't afraid. Look at her. He gave you love but he didn't give you your fire. He didn't give you your strength. If you want it, fight for it." He held up a gold embossed card and tilted it in her direction. "Don't let it go so easily."

She stared at him wordlessly before taking the card with shaking fingers. Written on the back in an elegant scrawl was an address. She darted a quick look up at the enigmatic man who watched her quietly. At his nod, she palmed the card and spun on her heel, walking swiftly toward the door. "I'll tell Mr. Hawthorne where you've gone," she heard dimly behind her. The door clicked shut, cutting off any further comment. Katniss didn't stop to judge the wisdom of her actions, she let her heart decide. By the time she pushed through the front door of the gallery, she was running.

Xoxoxoxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxooxxooxoxoxoxo

The carved mahogany door with its wrought iron scrollwork stuttered her step before she gave the knocker two determined taps. She heard muffled footsteps approaching and drew in a trembling breath. In a few moments, she would be face to face with what could turn out to be the best or worst decision she'd ever made. The heavy door swung inward just as a nervous smile tips the edges of her lips upward. It teetered there for an instant before fading into hurt surprise as Madge Undersee looked at her with cool blue eyes from the foyer.

Madge lifted a pink tipped hand to her mouth, glanced over her shoulder and then stepped outside, pulling the door closed behind her. "I expected you but not this quickly. You must have impressed Cinna for him to have sent you here. He's not usually so trusting."

Katniss swallowed past the lump in her throat that threatened to choke her, her temper flaring at the other woman's challenging stare. She lifted her chin; her tone a perfect match for her icy gray eyes. "I'm here to see Peeta."

Madge snorted out a laugh, "Obviously. We need to get a few things straight first." She squared her shoulders, her pretty face taking on a determined cast. "He doesn't need a dramatic scene. I'll allow this only if you promise that you'll mind your manners and hear him out. If you've come here thinking that you're going to unload a bunch of bullshit on him, think again, Ms. Everdeen. He may have ended our farcical engagement but there was a good, solid friendship at the heart of it. That remained intact. I'm telling you what I would have told that cretin that made such a fuss on your behalf. Peeta had reasons for what happened. He'll either tell you or he won't. He blames himself enough. He doesn't need you adding to it, you or your Mr. Hawthorne."

Katniss's brow furrowed. "I don't understand. What does Gale have to do with this? What did he do?"

Madge put her hands on her hips and laughed bitterly. "Cinna dressed it up in a pretty bow, didn't he? He didn't tell you about the visit we had from Mr. Hawthorne about a month ago." The last wasn't a question. Madge shook her head. "He showed up unannounced, making a nuisance of himself and demanding to see Peeta. It caused quite the uproar. Cinna was kind enough to handle it and talk him down. I don't know what Cinna said to him but he was much more behaved when they came back. He apologized for his outburst." Madge gestured toward a cobbled pathway and motioned for Katniss to follow as she led the way to an enclosed courtyard. Sinking gracefully on a stonework bench, she waited until Katniss sat down before continuing. "He came here because of you, claiming that Peeta had done something of a Casanova job when you were together on the Rosamund. He was forceful in his statements." Madge chewed on her bottom lip, the first sign of unease she'd shown. "It took some time to convince him that Peeta hadn't purposefully stood you up. He was detained by events beyond his control."

"Was he?" Katniss asked sardonically. "Was he so detained that he couldn't pick up a phone or have someone else let me know what happened? I'm sorry, Miss Undersee, but I don't need this now. I came here to sort things out with him. Can I see him?"

With a sweeping gesture, the blonde girl swayed gracefully to her feet. "By all means. Just remember that things aren't always what they seem at first glance, Katniss. I hope you came here ready to listen. Don't go in there if you just came here to dump your pain and bitterness at his feet. He doesn't deserve it."

Katniss opened her mouth to reply but held her tongue. She chose instead to retrace her steps leaving the perplexing woman staring after her with a winsome smile lighting her face. Eschewing another knock, she eased the door open and peered inside. A light and airy foyer bent into an elegantly arched doorway. Her modest flats whispered on the travertine tiles as she stepped hesitantly through the arch. Her breath caught on a sigh as she saw him for the first time in nine months.

His hair was spun gold in the warm light of the lamps. He looked well, a cranberry hued sweater hugging the taut lines of his shoulders and back. His narrowed blue gaze was trained with fierce concentration on the sketchpad held loosely in his lap. She couldn't help but notice the way his thin golden lashes caught the light, a pale, bleached white that contrasted beautifully with the winter wheat curls falling over his forehead. She stood frozen, watching his hands move purposefully over the page. This was a side of him unfamiliar to her, and she soaked it up like a man finding water after days lost in the desert. An unintentional moan left her lips, pulling those started eyes toward her. They widened and rounded, clearly unsure of what they were seeing. She stayed where she was, unable to speak as he laid down the sketchbook.

"Katniss," it was a broken whisper, a curious combination of hope and dread.

She moistened suddenly dry lips and nodded jerkily. "Peeta," she answered. "It's good to see you. How are you?" His eyes left her to glance hurriedly toward the foyer. Seeing his unease, Katniss wilted slightly but forced a smile. "She's in the courtyard. She thought it best that we spoke alone. I can get her if you like."

"No," he said hurriedly. "Don't." He shook his head, eyes flickering guiltily in her direction before darting away. "You're right. We do need to talk." He waved her forward, nodding his head toward a plump arm-chair. She took the proffered seat, confusion wrinkling her brow. He sat stiffly at one end of the couch, a blanket over his legs and the sketchpad lying forgotten in his lap. "How are you?" He asked politely.

She snorted, tossing him a sardonic look. "How am I? Is that really all you have to say to me after nine months?"

His face tightened before settling into a stone like mask. "I owe you an apology, of course. I was on my way but was detained. It…" he paused, carefully choosing his words. "I have no excuse. I'm sorry."

Anger flared hot and bright and she let it take over, its heat fortifying her wavering resolve. "Sorry," she mouthed. "You're sorry. Well, that's very nice of you to say. Let's go with that." She climbed to her feet and walked toward him. "I'm sorry too. I'm sorry that we stupidly walked away from each other and wasted six months because of what might have been said by people who don't matter. I'm sorry that I stood on that roof for hours without a word and didn't try to call. I'm sorry that all we have left is broken promises and regret. I'm sorry I let them talk me in to coming here. I knew what it would do." She turned away, trying to hide the sudden wetness that blurred her eyes. She wouldn't give him that. No. She wouldn't let him see her fall apart.

"Katniss," he breathed. "Don't…"

"Don't what," she mumbled. "Don't tell the truth. We're done, Peeta. We never were. It was all just a dream." She smiled sadly, tears flowing unheeded down her face. "I wanted to say that to you when we met on that damned rooftop. I googled the damned phrase and practiced it. I tripped all over it, of course. I knew it was silly but I wanted to do it for you. I thought it would make you happy."

"Do what?" he rasped. "What did you want to say?"

She laughed bitterly, turning her head to avoid his searching gaze. "All those times you spoke to me in Italian, all those pretty words. I'm not like you. Words were never something that I was especially good at. I wanted to try though, for you." She tipped her head back, eyes closed. "Tu sei il mio sogno," she said haltingly, her voice breaking on the unfamiliar syllables. She dropped her chin, meeting his surprised look with a somber stare. "But then I woke up and realized that dreams don't last forever. You have to wake up eventually."

She turned away before she broke down completely, walking swiftly toward the door. She heard him call her name in a desperate shout, heard the sketchbook hit the tiles with a muffled thud followed by a hiss of pain. She turned and saw him clutching the back of the couch, eyes closed as he swayed precariously. She rounded the couch without thought, hands lifting to steady him. She saw the sketchbook half hidden beneath his blanket. A thin, silver cane lay innocuously on the floor, drawing her bewildered gaze. She looked up at Peeta questioningly, startled to see him still leaning heavily on the back of the couch. "Peeta, what are you…" her voice trailed off as defeated blue eyes met hers. Then she looked at him, really looked. He followed her gaze to the neatly pinned cuff of his pants. He straightened, somehow managing to balance on his good leg as he met her owl-eyed look. "Peeta," she breathed.

He bit his lip, and then gestured toward his missing leg as a sad smile lifted the edges of his mouth. "I wanted to buy you violets," he said simply. "I forgot the first rule of crossing the street is to look both ways. I guess I was too distracted. I was looking up."

She bit back a sob, her hand covering her mouth. "I heard the sirens. I didn't think."

He shook his head. "Of course you didn't. How could you? It knocked me out. They didn't ID me until some nurse in the ER recognized me from that damned Flickerman interview. They called Madge because she was listed as an emergency contact once they pulled my file. I never got around to changing that." He eased himself back down, settling into the cushions with a sigh. "I was out of it for weeks. They rushed me into surgery to try to save my leg but the damage was done. After that, things just ran together. Madge and her father kept most of it out of the papers."

Katniss shook her head wonderingly. "I didn't know, Peeta. I would have come. I didn't…"

"I know you called," he broke in. "Madge saw the missed call notice on my phone. She told me as soon as they let her back. I was still in the hospital then while they put me back together. I told her to wait and that I wanted to tell you myself. I decided you were better off not knowing." He pushed his lips into a thin line. "You didn't need to be saddled with caring for a cripple the rest of your life. You deserve a man who is whole, not a shattered ruin. You shouldn't have come here, Katniss. I didn't want you to see this."

Katniss felt another surge of stifling anger flood through her…anger at Fate for hurting him, for hurting her, anger for the loss of his leg, for the time they'd lost. She clutched her braid in a white knuckled fist to keep her from breaking something. She longed to tear and rend and wreak havoc. Anything was preferable to this dull, leaden ache and the beaten expression in his eyes. He'd already given up on them. A hot tide of color painted her cheeks as the irony of that thought became clear. He'd only done what she had. Both had opted to take the easy way out instead of fighting. Resolve flooded through her, taking with it any doubts she harbored.

"You don't get to choose for me," she stated firmly. "I can decide for myself what I want and what I've wanted for a long time is you, Peeta. Just you." She rounded on him furiously. "I don't care about that." She flicked a dismissive hand. "I only wish I could have been there. I was stupid, I know, and I don't deserve a second chance but you're not getting rid of me. Don't even try."

A tiny smile briefly touched his mouth. "So stubborn." When she didn't respond, he tilted his head to watch her. She paced back and forth for a few steps before sitting down next to him on the couch. She flicked a brief look up at him, as if asking for permission, and then hesitantly, gently, rested her hand on his knee. His breath caught as her finger traced the outline of his stump beneath the soft cloth of his pants. "Katniss," he said quietly.

"I never stopped loving you," she murmured. Her gaze stayed firmly fixed on her hand tracing random patterns on his leg. "Even when I was sure that we were through, I still wanted to be right here. This doesn't change anything, Peeta. It doesn't change who you are, not inside. If you still want me, I'll stay."

He gulped in a breath, seeing truth in the way her eyes never left his. "I wanted to give you so much more than this," he muttered. "Sae's ring, babies if you want them, a garden of your own." He shook his head, eyes falling to where their fingers intertwined in his lap. "You deserve the best."

"That's you," She returned. "You're what I want, Peeta, today, tomorrow, always."

He closed his eyes as she slid closer, her breath warm on the side of his face. "I love you too," he whispered. "So much, Katniss. More than you know."

Her smile said everything as her fingers cupped his face and lifted his chin. Their lips met and melded, giving and taking by turns. "I'm holding you to that, you know." She mumbled against his lips, giggling as he raised a questioning brow. She grinned as she leaned back. "A garden of my own and all the rest."

"All the rest," he teased. "You sure about that?"

"I don't know, Peeta. You might have to convince me."

He laughed and pulled her back into his arms, "Well then, I see that I've got my work cut out for me."

End part 6….


	7. what came after

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a very smallish drabbly thing requested by chele20035 over on Tumblr to sort of finish things off.

 

The garden was just as she remembered. Still beautiful. Still peaceful. Still heaven on earth. Some things endured. They never changed no matter how much time passed. It was good to be reminded.

It had been a year since she’d gone to see him. A year since she’d asked if she could stay and he’d told her always. A year since he’d put Sae’s ring on her finger and sealed that promise with a kiss. Six months since she’d told him their little family was soon to number three. 

This garden was hers, exactly as he’d promised. Although it bore a startling resemblance to the one found on a hill overlooking Villefranche-sur-Mer, a few things were different. Hers. Theirs. And in her mind, that made it even more like Heaven. Katniss thought that Sae would approve. 

Warm arms wound around her waist and his hands splayed over the swell of her belly. “How are my loves today? Feeling better?” 

Katniss smiled softly and leaned her head back to rest on his shoulder as her fingers twined through his. “Feeling better,” she confirmed. “How about you? Is it bothering you at all.” 

She laughed as he rocked back and forth, the new prosthetic easily bearing his weight. “I’m fine,” he assured her, his breath warm on the side of her face as he pressed his cheek to hers. “Better than fine. I’m happy. It’s been a good year, Katniss. Maybe the best year of my life. It’s hard to believe this is real, you and me and this one.” His hand made a leisurely arc on her belly, unerringly finding her ticklish spots and laughing softly when she squirmed in protest. 

“It’s real,” she echoed. “Ho solo bisogno di questo. Ho solo bisogno di te.”

Her Italian was clumsy and halting but the words he’d said to her not so long ago on the Rosamund brought a smile to his face.”

He bent to kiss her softly, sweetly….let his lips linger perhaps a second longer than was proper. “I only need this,” he repeated the promise back to her, brushing the lone tear away with the pad of his thumb. “I only need you.”  

**Author's Note:**

> A/N I want to take this chance to thank jeeno2, sponsormusings, and malteaselivesonanisland for their support and mad pre-reading skills. Special shoutout to maltease for keeping the Italian phrases in this story on point. As stated in the summary, this story is loosely based on the movie An Affair to Remember. If you haven't seen it, please check it out.


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